A Relationship confession
I'm 14 and for 3 years now I've felt something for my cousin. It wasn't like a family love it was like, you know, proper love. Or so I thought. For the first year of this it was 'love' then I hit my teens and I started to get horny over random things. Guys in school, 40 year old guy (parents friend), and then my cousin. I would always think of him when I was masturbating and at such a young age I knew it was wrong. Not that thinking of my cousin like that is in anyway right. Then this year it got really bad because he got a girlfriend and as we were talking about my new boyfriend and his girlfriend sex came up. I was okay talking about sex but not to him! Then he asked me if I was a virgin. I told him that I was and I wished I wasn't and told him loads of things i now regret. We didn't see each other for another month thought usually we see each other every Sunday. That day we met again I wore a very revealing top and i began to notice him stealing glances at me and more specifically my breasts. I ignored it. Nothing happened till today when I was at my aunties house. The youngest of the three was dying to show me his new room, the middle one was like a brother to me, always has been, insisted we play Left4Dead2 and the oldest (my crush) vanished completely. When I was walking past his room I could hear noises and him panting and grunting. I know what he was doing and I was getting wet just thinking about it. Then he moaned my name. I was terrified. Does he like me just like i like him.
I know it's not love its just love. But I heard what he was doing and please I need help on this one. Does anyone have any advice or their own stories. I hope I'm not alone on this one. Also He's gong away to Uni and I want to tell him before he goes, he's 18.
Anonymous
I know it's weired and scary, the thing is I have
had a massive crush on my cousin 2!!! It started when I was little when I used to dress up ad put on high heels to try and impress him , to now the point where,when he leaves I just never stop thinking about him , crazy right , he is my first cousin so should I tell him how I feel or should I gofer about it , plz help
Anonymous
I forgot to mention 1 part... if he was doing what I think he was / Masturbating...or somet... most guys only masturbate to a girl they like, have a crush on... or who they are in love with... if they dont like you they wont do anything like that while thinking of you.... theyd just use porn or think of someone else...
now you said he had a girlfriend...and hes going away... so make up your mind... is it a crush or more than a crush...
think of you and him....would you want to be with him for the rest of your life? would you marry him? or do you just have sexual feelings for him...
if you want to be with him forever...and want to seriously be with him and get married etc... then its not just lust... your in love with him...
I seriously think that your in love...and theres more than just lust or else you wouldnt have bothered to even ask us...
Make up your mind do you love him... only you can do that...
the only way you can tell is what do you want from him? do you want him to be your boyfriend, do you want to marry him if things work out.
Or is it just a dream that you want to do something sexy and thats it..
if its lust theres no point in telling him...
If you can seriously think of marrying this guy or being in a relationship with him... then that means you love him and you really need to reach out and tell him...because he has feelings for you if he was doing things like that while thinking about you and saying your name..
Anonymous
Well its normal to have a crush or fall in love with your cousin... Falling in love with your cousin is just as normal as falling in love with someone else.. dont care about other people saying its disgusting etc... its totally normal... and most countries allow it.. if it was so wrong then the law would ban it..
Advice: I know you really like him a lot..but there is something important you need to keep in mind... You are still a young girl...
Now im totally with you on this but you have to be very careful how you go about this.. because you are still a kid (im not saying this the law does) and he is 18 (a grown man)... the age difference isnt a problem at all... you being 14 is a problem... no matter how much you love him... if he touches you.... even if you want him to touch you..or come close to you in a sexual way.... he will be the one that gets in trouble...
If you like him and want him like you say you do... dont do anything stupid.... dont touch him and dont let him touch you.... atleast till you are of a legal age... atleast 16 or 18...
Now if you like him so much and dont want to lose him then tell him how much you like him and want to be with him... but again dont do anything stupid... keep your distance in that way.... if you love him then im sure you dont want to send him to jail do you? the only way to keep things safe and get that guy you love is... that you tell him the truth but keep physical distance... im not saying for ever just till you are atleast 16-18 according to whatever the law is in your country... and dont wear clothes that are revealing... because that may cause him to do something stupid... just be a normal girl... live life at your own age... im not saying stop loving him... im not saying dont tell him.... tell him but if he tries to come close to you in that way stop him... tell him right away... if he doesnt listen to you and back off then this guy isnt right for you... if he cares about you and realises the situation then he will really be willing to wait for you... if he doesnt then trust me hes not worth it... if he tries to touch you dont be afraid to tell an adult... and meet up in a place where you can really call for help..if he tries to touch you..
Now I know you may want him in a sexual way.. but you havent to let him do anything with you yet... its not fair to you... and its not fair to him..because he will go to jail...
if telling him doesnt work... tell someone you really trust... like your mum... trust me I know it sounds scary... but if you really want him you have got to tell someone... trust me if you tell your mum she will freak out a little at first...but she will totally understand...she might tell you how you should tell him... or she might talk to him for you....because she was once a girl like you...at some point who fell in love with a guy... if she really cares she will help you out..
Just like you like your older cousin... I love my younger cousin...iv not told her that I love her but I have told her I like her a lot..and care about her.
I have told my mum and she totally understands...and my mum knows I wont do anything stupid... that would ruin my cousins life or put me behind bars....
I am afraid of losing her....but then I am waiting till shes atleast 18... and I am keeping my distance...because she doesnt know how I feel... but then I will tell her the whole truth about how much im in love with her as soon as shes 18..
Anonymous
Well, is this a first cousin or more distant? If it's more distant, I don't think it's as bad. But you should find someone else to crush on, especially if this is a first cousin. Also, don't let the rest of your family find out.
Anonymous
Find someone else to crush on.
He's your cousin, ew.