I hate my step daughter

I hate my adult step daughter with a passion. After 10 years of putting up with her snidey comments, treating my house like a hotel and me like staff, I finally told her to f*** off and get out of my life. I mean what is a 23yr old doing still doing bludging off her parents? The nasty piece of work only calls her father when she wants something. After travelling around Europe for the 4th time she has the audacity to whinge that her car needs to be updated and that she hasnt finished her degree. OMG what a WASTE of space.

I said to her father, I will no longer tolerate her rudeness and general bad attitude in my house. If she can't be polite or civil to me then she needn't bother coming around anymore. This message was passed on so she decided that she wasnt coming around anymore. My husband now accuses me of banning her from the house. This, because she can't be civil to me in my own home so chooses not to come here ugh! The manipulative little b**** now cries to her father and hes the reason she is such a spoilt nasty piece of work.

She will not split my marriage up.

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  • I love all you ladies who also stood up and said "NO MORE"! After 15 yrs together alone, my partner's grown b**** daughter has decided to move her & her 5 kids with 5 different men back here. I am 62 yrs old and hate her because of the snide comments, those sideways "hairy eyeball" looks some women do so well, not just rude but hateful, ignoring me & my wishes etc. This b**** is TOXIC and if my worm of a boyfriend does not step up to the plate, I will tell her to f*** off and he will be booted out right behind her. What is WRONG with some people? I would never dream of treating someone like that...!!!

  • I have a 21year old step daughter who resents that I stay home with my son who is 6 years old. She feels that she has more rights to her dads finances than I do. I have put up my life savings in this relationship in order to stay home with my son. Her mother hates me too and we can't even be in the same room together. I have no right to decide if something she wants is too expensive or not. She decides what we do, where we go and expects to be treated like a queen when she comes over for family dinners. My marriage has suffered because I refuse to be a doormat any longer. Years of resentment has left me burnt out because my husband will never defend me. It's a losing battle.

  • Well you are better than i i vowed it would never come to a marriage self destructing and it did 2 stepdaughters one a liar who claims sexual misconduct the other finally suceeded on divide and conquer because she held the trump cards the grandchildren who are in foster care and needs mummy to get them back whatever happenned to the golden years particularly when your recently married at 48 & 46 both starting again i commit to counselling etc... to hard for the wife and definitely too hard for a stepdaughter who will not hear the truth and when she did reverted to violence.

  • I have to say this as I am also going through the same s***; look at her every time she's a b**** and say (in your head, while smiling) 'I thank god everyday you are not my child').

  • OMG.... Girl Friend I wish we were close. I HATE to talk about this but I feel so isolated and alone. Mine is a 15yr old entitled witch. I walk on egg shells when she comes. she is a fat lazy pig that feel that I should roll out the red carpet every time the queen arrives!! and should I say BOO to her she runs to her witch mother and says I'm being mean to her. So now I say nothing. Imaging... a 15yr old doing what ever and nothing at the same time. Then telling everyone one cares!!! I'm not her mother and don't went to be. I want to take my kids and leave every time she comes.. My kids are 8 and 6 and see it.. What can I do. God help me, I love my husband we have been together for 10 years.. what to do...Help Me, help me, help me,, I'm ready to call a lawyer...

  • I think I wrote the above post. My question is how to deal with the anguish it causes in a Mri age because I find myself resenting my husband for even tolerating his kid. He has not talked to her for months at a time and then is always the one who appolizes like it's his fault. I have tried to explain that if he never talked to her she would never make the move to speak to him. That to me says she doesn't care whether there is a relationship or not. He doesn't get it and I'm worried it will break us.

  • OMG! I feel like I wrote this and I did not. Same exact situation, but I'm the stepfather instead of the step mother. I just want this 20 year old to leave! She is so rude to me, so so selfish and far far far from being a good person! She is mean to our dogs, she laughs when someone gets hurt, she is a total slob, leaving dishes, glasses all over the house, she stays out all night, the list goes on and on and even involves drugs, alcohol and who knows what else. Yet, if I complain about her then her mom and I just get into a fight about it. I'm so ready to "move on" but I do love her mom so much....... rock and a hard place here I come.

  • I understand completely. My step daughter is rude, manipulative, inconsiderate and self centered. She only calls when she wants something, and acts like the whole world owes her something. She also loves to play the victim, we have caught her in several lies about "how bad we treat her", so her grandmother will baby her and buy her things. She is 17 years old and never been on restriction or even had her cell phone taken from her. My husband refuses to correct her or discipline her because he feels bad for her (guilt since he's not with her mother). She can't get along with other girls her age, she wants to quite school because she doesn't like anyone and the list goes on and on. I myself have two children who have to follow a completely different set of rules/expectations. I dread coming home when I know she's there. I hate to admit it, but I don't like anything about this child. My feelings are intensified by the fact that her father refuses to acknowledge her bad behavior. I have serious concerns about her ability to function as an adult, she has no social skills at all, she can only get along with people who cater to her.

  • I understand completely. My stepdaughter and her mother made our lives h*** for years and years. She treated my husband's side of the family like a doormat. I finally "forgave" enough, not that she ever apologized. She is banned from my house and I will not attend any family function she is invited to. My husband has a "limited" relationship with her, completely dictated on her terms. However, I am very lucky. He sees her as she is and understands that while he cannot cut her completely out of his life, I not only can but need to. She is not a topic of discussion. Too bad your husband cannot honor your feelings.

  • Instead of complaining is there revenge measures to take?

  • I have been engaged to my fiancee almost 8 years and still no plans of any wedding. His daughter lives with us because her mother is a drug addict. She is turning 13 and the biggest attention seeking little b*#.doesnt appreciate anything I do and always finding fault with everything I do. I do her washing, pack her lunches etc etc etc. Whenever she visits my fiancees family she says bad things about me and acts like the victim and like she is so disadvantaged when she is the only child in the house, has a whole room to herself and a cupboard filled with clothes and shoes all coming from me, we don't receive any money fro bio mom so whenever money is short (which is all the time)I pay. The other day she told friends at school that she never gets pocket money when she was given r50 the week prior to that!! It has had such an impact on my life that I feel suicidal sometimes. We can never do anything or go on holiday unless I am willing to pay and when we do eat out she wants the most expensive items on the menu and to order from the adult menu!!. I am sooooo sick of her nonsense I honeslty wish she was old enough to just move out and p*** off.

  • I have a sweet adult step daughter in her 30's and a hateful snotty b**** of a blood daughter in her 30's. The step daughter was respectful with a big sweet heart and was so very helpful around the house when she was growing up. Her real Mom was a severe druggie so the step daughter really appreciated me and my clean loving home. But, my daughter was and is the opposite. She has no idea how good she had it and I even helped her with her children the first few years, I left my home and moved to another state to help her and when I came back home she basically disowned me. If I'm not doing something for her she has no use for me. I've given up on her, and will pursue the relationship with my step daughter and other two children. It really p***** me off though that the daughter refuses to acknowledge all the good I did for her. The only reason I don't say I hate her is someone will say hate is a form of love and I can't bear that right now. Yes, I hope bad things happen to her just to let her know she's not perfect, I mean like get fired on her job or something like that. If her husband knew what I knew he would divorce her but I'm afraid she won't let me see my grandkids again if I tell him what I know about her. So, I moved far away from her and sometimes my blood just boils for she has apparently made up lies about me for someone I care about who is close to her won't talk to me anymore or even friend me on facebook, so I guess she's lying about me too. I hate it.

  • God I know how you feel my step dauters are b****** only time they call is for money my husband was in the hospital for a week and they never even called him and kaylee is always smarting off and she called him yesterday and said call me when she isnt there fk her this is my home anouther time she called him and sais wht sre youstill with her I want tosmack herin the fave oh so bad abn herandher sister are always putting his exes up to calling him at 3 in the morning they are grown a** b****** and are about to get their a**** whiped like one

  • I am in a similar boat, except my husband i on board with me, he loves his kids and wants the best for them, but at ages 21 years old and 18 years old he sees how much they hurt me emotionally. i am on the verge of telling them to go f*** off.. they are the rudest kids , inconsiderate, manipulation and fake that i have ever met and in the past 3 years of trying to let them get to know me it was all a waste because they are showing their true colors now that they don't give a s***; it's okay to love me during xmas and their birthdays, but when others are in the room, they treat me like i don't exist. i am the best thing that ever happened to their dad and them for that matter because their mom and their dad fought all the time and didn't even sleep in eachother's bed rooms.. we have a fun loving relationship and since yesterday i am done with them. my husband no longer wants to take their s*** either but i understand because its his kids and i am sure he will always love them as he should. i am disgusted with their behavior and i never crossed them or done anything wrong and if i did in my own heart cross them i have apologized in a nice note or verbally when i am wrong which isn't often when it comes to his kids. they disgust me, oh wait, i said that already :/

  • You have to attack. Have the most rudest and most sarcastic bitch of a 22 year old step daughter. Whenever she is rude or sarcastic to me i give back hard. Now she tip toes around me and stays in her room. Hate the fat fuck ! Have to show you wont put up with shit and walked on.

  • Advice needed badly, I too have inherited a stepdaughter but in my case she is a total slob and her mother gets very upset if I ask her to intervene. What is more she is 28yrs old and has zero ambition to leave the nest. This grown woman is so lazy that if she leaves her bathroom or bedroom door open she kicks the piles of underclothing behind the furniture so their not seen passing by the door and still even more she treats her bedroom like a bed n breakfast hauling every meal up to her bed and places the dirty dishes stacked up in her closet again not to be seen at first glance through the door. I am ready to walk out on the two of them because neither the mom or daughter take me serious when I ask in the most tactful way for her to clean up her mess. Before I end my marriage for good, does anybody have any advice for me?

  • You cant do anything, divorce, blood is thicker than water

  • Blood is not thicker than water. Money is thicker than blood!

  • I would suggets you don't get her mom to intervene. Your house your rules and if she doesn't like it and doesn't get her act together tell her to get out. If she cannot contribute towards a maid\servant to help clean up she must help clean herself. If she doesn't want to help you don't do anything for her.

  • Why is she living with you and not her mother?

  • Well I have read all of these entries and share in all of your pain, however, while I am in the exact same boat as ALL of you....Apples don't fall far from the tree as we all know and perhaps none of us wants to take a very close look at our marriages because our spouses ALLOW all of this to go on and they are the ones who created the situation in the first place. In their defense though...I bet most of the horrible behavior takes place either when they are not around or when they are out of earshot...(am I right?) As I tell my spouse...the issue is NOT the talking to, spending time with daughter etc etc ...the issue is having my back when it comes to RIGHT AND WRONG behavior. Our spouses will one day see the light and although it is very difficult for them to confront their own children (perhaps because of the guilt from the divorce)...we CAN change OUR OWN behavior and due to the nature of things.....since "it is what it is"......."what will be will be......"

  • I feel your pain. I'm dealing with the same thing. I thought since his daughters were older that it would be ok. It doesn't make any difference if they are 5 or 25. Even though his daughter is 22, she insists on being with Daddy all of the time. When I was that age, I was running around with my friends and dating. Not her, she has to have her Daddy dates. Sickening. He tries to include me, but I end up being the third wheel.I just step back and say, "take her to the baseball game, dinner, golfing, etc." I have to disengage. Unbelievable. I am so shocked that a young girl wants to hang out with Daddy instead of being with her own friends. She only does it to make me angry. It worked.

  • They stick up for their loser kids no matter what, My wife has given her money and mine to buy her loser 23 yr old daughter 3 cars she has destroyed, ruined my house, been in school 5yrs and has 20 credits and now is sending her to a private school for 40k. This bitch has never had a full time job and has speeding tickets dui etc and is on our insurance, cell phone and everything else.I need to get out of this somehow?

  • OMG so can relate to this my step daughter has been rude to me for 6 years and plays it up when her father is around. Now lives with her mother full time who is only money motivated by the old age boyfriend she is with. The said thing is she is teaching her daughter to be the same. Why is it that her rudeness is my fault. Im not a piece of c*** that should only be spoken to when her father is in the room. She never bothers with her father only when she wants something. Im in a place now that I feel I want to get out because every family thing is a drama about her coming. Seems pretty basic to me. Her father should tell her to respect our home and his partner ..but apparently she doesnt have to . Getting to old for this stress

  • Let me tell you that I agree with your views. I am married to a much older man who has an adult daughter aged 33. I am only 36 and i cringe to even be referring to her as a step daughter. My husband was married to her mum for 20 years and when he left they havent had much contact not because of his fault but because of his ex and how she has influenced her children to take her side. 5 years ago his daughter got married and not even told him. he only found out through his mum because she got an invite. this deeply upset him and broke his heart. i have never forgiven her for this. she spit him out and i am the one who has to pick up the pieces. after a year or so she left her husband and moved back near us. she rang her dad to help her move then. after a few months she met another man and soon after they got married and this time he was invited all because i think he helped a bit with the wedding costs. after this my husband gets intermittent messages from her. two months ago she emailed my husband asking for £2,000 plus loan so she can move house. a week after that she suddenly decided to leave her husband and get back with her high school boyfriend. so she pulled her 5 year old daughter out of school and just left. her new man lives in a council flat for unemployed people or something. when she got there, there was no bed and they had to sleep all on the floor. next minute she gets her daughter to her ex-husband because one of her boyfriends neighbors was being aggresive. now her ex-husband sued for custody and her daughter has been taken away from her. all this while, she texts and emails and rings her dad like her personal driver. i told my husband we have a business to run and he cant be dropping everything all the time for her. we made a phone call to her to clear the air once and for all, and i tried to explain my hang ups. she started swearing and calling me names the BRAT saying she is his flesh and blood and who am i to be meddling! i told my husband, she is just using him and all her family dont support her with what she has done and he is the only one who is dumb enough to support her IRRESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOUR. so when she is done with him she will spit him out again! i need him to see this but i think he is blind with guilt because of leaving them years ago.

  • My 23 yo stepdaughter has moved into my house with my husband & me on an indefinite basis. She is a loud messy slob on medication for ADHD. She has no friends & no social life. She contributes nothing in terms of housework & nothing financially although she has a huge trust fund from her maternal grandparents. She has had private school & college fully paid for by her parents (with an army of counselors to support her through her ADHD/learning disability issues) & is furious that she has to pay for law school herself - thanks to a miraculous last minute acceptance to a local area law school despite very poor performance in the LSATs. All her other expenses - accommodation, gas, food, utilities - are fully paid for by us & she lives in luxury at our expense. If I dare to criticize her in any way whatseover my husband lays into me. She has no social skills & talks incessantly about herself at the top of her voice - & my husband laps it up. She lived with us before for a year when she was in high school - phoning us at 5 am on the morning after my father died to demand that we sort our her relocation within a week, which nearly ended the marriage. I don't know why or how I put up with this. I love my husband but after 10 years of abuse I'm at my wit's end.

  • Hi I hear you I live in australia and have been living with my partner of 16 years and all that time his kids (one for 8 years then now the other one, she is 23 & he 21 and only pay $65 week full board, they treat me like I am just the housekeeper, I dont talk to his daughter, she is tidy,m he is a slob, his father does his washing, makes his bed, he doesn't lift a finger, resentment builds every day, you end up not talking to them 9suits the 23rd y.o moocher girl who is studying law for the next 304 years, so stuck with her for that amount of time totally disrespectful in all shapes and forms, like the world owes them a living, bitches about any little thing she can to her dad, kids can make or break relationships and IT IS A PRVELIDGE FOR ADULT KIDS TO LIVE AT HOME NOT A GOD GIVEN RIGHT, she would love it if I moved out, not gunna give her what she wants that's for sure.

  • They stick up for their loser kids no matter what, My wife has given her money and mine to buy her loser 23 yr old daughter 3 cars she has destroyed, ruined my house, been in school 5yrs and has 20 credits and now is sending her to a private school for 40k. This bitch has never had a full time job and has speeding tickets dui etc and is on our insurance, cell phone and everything else.I need to get out of this somehow?, I forgot to mention we are paying for adhd and anti depressant drugs also.

  • I swear this sounds like my situation. Same thing. 22 yr old, won't work, wants Daddy all of the time, wants to go on Daddy dates. Whatever she wants, she gets, all the while telling me that "money isn't important." Sure it isn't when your dad is paying for everything. I am befuddled. When I was 22, I was with my friends and dating. I wasn't begging for time with my Daddy. It is like they are "dating". She is always coming up with things they can do; amusement park, ball games, movies. He always wants me to come with but I end up being the third wheel. So I just disengage. I say, "you take her." I'll stay home. It is easier for me to do that. Makes it easier on everyone. Which is a shame. Even on the fourth of July, instead of going with friends, she wanted to watch the fireworks with us???

  • I have three grown step daughters that are disasters no jobs, drug & alcohol problems and one is bi-polar. They have never been married and call here 2 to 3 times a day wanting to see daddy. One smokes non-stop. I have banned them all until they are sober, decent & can apologize for all of their bad behavior. If it costs me my marriage it's worth it. I have been married 20 years and the amount of stress is killing me. If I had known this was going to be the situation I never would have gotten married to this man. When we were dating for 2 years they lived elsewhere and had lives, now they are all alone, over 50, and behaving badly. I am blamed for not allowing these beauties in my home. Save yourself, that's my plan.

  • Wait, did I read your comment correctly? This 3 step-daughters are in their FIFTIES and behaving this way? That's even more insane than the 12-30 year olds. Kind of destroys the tiny hope I had that mine might grow out of it!

  • I put up with a step son like that, I married her knowing she had him, but thought things would work out. Wrong, he moved out to live with his grand parents at age 14, happiest day of my life. She blamed it all on me, and two years later she moved out, YES, good ridence.

  • Oh she moved out alright at 19 to go to uni. It's just ongoing. I'm still hoping it will work out. You sound like the smart one? However, I don't want my hubby moving out in 2 years so hoping there is another way :)

  • If you keep trying to put tension on the relationship between your husband and his daughter, YOU will be responsible for ruining your marriage. She does sound like a terror, yes, and I understand not wanting to have some rude, manipulative, disrespectful person in your home, but if you try to force your husband to choose between you and his child, don't be suprised if he eventually chooses his daughter. It already sounds like your marriage is under stress. There's got to be another way to get her to behave without ruining your marriage.

  • There's two sides to this. I can understand someone wanting to chose their child over their spouse, but sometimes diplomatic tactics and "letting things work themselves out" don't work. Take my husband--he's never stepped up and taken responsibility for himself or his train wreck of a daughter. What is a stepmom supposed to do in this instance? Support the both of them while they play games, see movies, stay out until 2 am, sleep in until noon, and do no chores around the house? Screw that. Splitting up seems like the better deal. At that point, you're giving your spouse one last chance to save the marriage before saying, "I'm out of here."

  • You are correct. It has caused considerable issues in my marriage! They were caused by our two families being unable to live under the same roof. I did not mention that we had the same issue with my OWN son, who was behaving just as badly and agreed that he should at 25 go his own way as neither my husband or the remaining kids deserve such unrest in our home. It apparently does not work both ways. Since writing this post, I have attempted to make ammends in the way of a birthday party for my husband and was met with disdain. My attempts of conversation wth her were met with stony glares. I have since said to my husband in a attempt to compromise that if she wished to visit him at our home, I will go out. I just wished he could see that he is nothing but a glorified ATM to her. This is what it has come too. I also didnt mention that I left him because of all this and he promised to pull her into line, so I returned. Like I said, I won't let this WOMAN ruin my marriage!

  • If she's a bad person, you have no reason NOT to dislike them. You should be proud. You stuck up for yourself.

  • Thank you. I think she has a little growing up to do and will turn out to be a decent person if her father will stop enabling her. Just had enough of her bouncing her nastiness off me.

  • I stuck up for myself and my husband blames me fuck her and fuck him too!! She is a trouble maker at 23, I never did anything to her except give her money, what's up with the girl wanting to own her father, seems a little sicko to me!

  • They stick up for their loser kids no matter what, My wife has given her money and mine to buy her loser 23 yr old daughter 3 cars she has destroyed, ruined my house, been in school 5yrs and has 20 credits and now is sending her to a private school for 40k. This bitch has never had a full time job and has speeding tickets dui etc and is on our insurance, cell phone and everything else.I need to get out of this somehow?

  • Divorce.

  • I hear ya.. I have been with husband 25 years. Favorite daughter has 3 year old. Tells her things regarding our life, financials, plans. etc. Help!!! We split up once. Oh yea, Mother-in-law ( 70 something ) is on probation for drugs, of course, in California. I am going crazy. t u

  • I know right!!!!

  • Freud field day for my situation , too. Just weird

  • I have no idea how old these posts are but they are still relevant to my situation so I will comment. I have a 25 year old step daughter who recently moved back into our very clean and tidy home. She has two children, ages 2 and 3 1/5. She disrespects about 50% of the rules that are in place. She lets her children eat and drink all over the house. She lets them play with DVDs and items that do not belong in the hands of kids their ages. Many items have been ruined. She doesn't clean up after them, leaving messes everywhere they go has become commonplace. When they are ill, she does not wipe their noses, and I must clean boogers and saliva off furniture, walls, and toys. She sits and chats all evening long with her current boyfriend instead of cleaning up after the kids. Hey, I know it's a fulltime job to be a parents, but you don't get to relax until their messes (at someone else's house) are cleaned up. Right? Am I insane to think that she ought to respect us?

  • If you're in a position to kick her out, I would do that. So she's 25 with kids and living with you guys--why? Tell her to get her own apartment, or if she can't afford it, go on HUD housing for low income families. She can feel free to be a slob on her own time/house.

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