A Sex confession

After years of masturbating quite rough, and having sex in a similar fashion, my penis has developed a bruise on it. In an effort to let it heal, i try to stop masturbating and having sex. the longest ive gone was 3 weeks, and it was pretty close to healed.

anyway, im a closeted bisexual guy. I like girls and very feminine men. When I masturbate regularly, im into girls and guys kind of equally, but i do look at guys more online. When I say guys, i mean very feminine ones, cross dressers/transgendered and guys who are very obviously homosexual, and never bi.

After a few days of not masturbating, ive noticed a pattern over the years of trying to let my penis heal fully. My interest in women decreases, and my interest in feminine men goes down as well. I want MEN. I start to look at masculine(at least, more masculine than im used to) guys, and i want to be dominated, i want to be fucked in the asshole and cummed in raw. I start to act more feminine myself.

After about 2 and 1/2 weeks, i no longer have any interest in men that ive noticed. Im used to not masturbating mostly, and i can handle it at this point(for the most part, but i always seem to slip up). I start to find women more attractive than anything else, and i start to act more like a guy, or like i usually do as if i never stopped jacking off. I dont really need hard sex at this point, just want to fuck a girl.

I think there are two contributing factors: due to the bruise, my penis is not very sensitive, so a lot of my sexual pleasure comes from the head of my penis and my asshole(due to the fact that its not that sensitive, my penis never really gets that hard til a few weeks later in this process). In addition, my hormones are obviously going through changes as I stop having sexual gratification. They say gay men have a lot more testosterone, and being bisexual, I probably have some extra as well. Im sure its spiking due to the need for sexual gratification, but at the same time, im thinking my estrogen is going up because i definitely start acting more feminine during the first few days. Its true that if your testosterone goes up, your estrogen usually does as well (which is why men who take steroids have to take estrogen blockers)

After a few weeks of not masturbating i can actually feel my penis in ways i couldnt before, its not sore at all, and my shaft is just extremely sensitive, and it gets ROCK hard, so my interest in vaginal penetration goes up, and i think my hormones balance out as i dont really act girly at this point.

right now i havent masturbated in 3 days. i want to have a guys throbbing cummy raw dick inside my ass and mouth in the worst way. im trying so hard to not masturbate. I had to write this so i can avoid looking at porn.

curious if anyone else has noticed patterns like this in their life

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Tags: Attracted, Feelings, Life, Masturbation, Men, Pleasure, Want, Women, Gay, Sexual