I hate being a parent

I don't hate my kids, but I hate being a parent. I hate not having anything even remotely resembling a social life. I hate changing diapers. I hate cleaning up after my kids. I hate driving some of them to school. I hate having to cook for them all the time. I hate listening to them fight, or cry, or beg for something. I hate having to take them to sports or activities so they're not bored. I hate having to keep watch over them when friends come over to play. I hate being trapped in f****** broiling desert, backwards a** Arizona, just because a job pays well enough to support four kids and moving would mean working for about 1/2 the pay. I've wasted a third of my life in this f****** place because I can't afford to move because of these kids. I hate having to keep a close watch over my kids because I live in a f****** huge beige and cement city...the more people there are, the more sick f**** you gotta worry about taking kids. I hate never being able to go anywhere new, see anything new, do anything new. School, meals, naps, sleep. I can't wait for them all to grow up and go away to college. Until then, I'm responsible for them. I'll be 52 when the last leave the house...I'd say half my life will be gone, and I'll have nothing but regrets. The first kid was ok, I was 28 and figured I would make a good parent. The second got annoying by the time he turned 3. The third and fourth were definitely a mistake in judgement on my part. Should have just said "no f****** way" to the wife after the first two. There's times I can't stand the sound of their voices. A couple times I've even gone so far as to wear earplugs and ignore them for an hour or two. I usually stay up late and deprive myself of hours of sleep, just because I know that the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner another day of dealing with my children will start for me. Hell, I've gotta get up in 3 1/2 hours to take the older ones to school. The brief moments of "oh, that's cute" are far overshadowed by the sheer level of s*** I hate about parenthood. Passing on my genes is not worth this. If I would have known I'd hate parenthood so much, I'd have gotten a vasectomy at 18. And to top it all off, I don't drink alcohol. I never acquired a taste for it, and earlier in life had no desire to kill off brain or liver cells, nor give up any self-control. I think I'd like to learn to appreciate a good beer or well-crafted spirit, but I won't. How much more miserable would my life be if I let slip to the wife or others how much I regret almost all of my decisions of the past 18 years (moving to Arizona, having kids, and sometimes even including marriage)? Why even bother typing this up? I feels a little better just to put it out there, and I know that nobody I know will see this or be able to connect this to me. I put on a pretty decent act as a responsible (and almost caring) parent. I've been living the lie for years.
A Friends & Family confession by: Anonymous
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    If you hated kids,you shouldn't have had them. You made an irreversible mistake,and you will suffer for the rest of your life-as simple as that. That goes for everyone,including commentators. Jesus,if only people were more mature,this world would be so much better.

    by: Anonymous

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    Dude fuck you, kids aren't always planned, and who are you to be on suck a fucking high horse? Suck a dick.

    by: Anonymous

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    4 kids "just happened"? oops! Think about it, moron

    by: Anonymous

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    I feel like I could have written most of this myself - it fits my situation so well. I'm a teacher, so I spend my days with other people's kids. Then I come home, and there are my 3 kids. It's like going from one job to another. And now, during the summer, it's even worse. My wife is still working, and here I am, home with the little ones all d*** day. I love my children - I really, really do - but my God they are needy. I have a 14-year-old, who needs money and rides everywhere. A four year old, who craves attention and throws tantrums when he doesn't get it, and a 9-month old who, now that she can crawl, requires me to watch her like a hawk. Oh, and the last time my wife and I even shared a bed, much less had sex, was when that 9-month-old was conceived. The saddest part? I don't even really miss the sex. I'd rather sleep.

    by: Anonymous

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    I use to work at a school and when I use to go home i also felt I had another job. I use to take out my frustration with my don because I use to crave time away from children. I soon realized that my son is way more important than my career and decided to change careers. It was the best decision!! Now I enjoy spending time with my kids, at least 90 % of the time :). It sounds like u would benefit from the same things, your kids will detect your feelings so your stable job with great benefit and retirement is not worth it!!!!

    by: Anonymous

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    Although the tone might be a bit harsh, he has a point. I chose not to have kids. I have a great cabin and land where I want to live far from schools/soccer leagues/etc. I have a great job that does not pay, but I enjoy almost every day. I've been able to travel often and for long periods of time. I've been able to pick up and move when I wanted. I have never once felt I missed out on anything by not having kids. Almost all my friends with kids secretly tell me they wish they'd not. Advice to young couples considering a child: Don't. (to paraphrase Ben Franklin on marriage) Having a child is an act of selfishness-- you create it to satisfy your needs. Having a child is not for the kid-- it doesn't even exist. Taking care of a child is not selfish, but the decision to have one is. If you want more love in your life, I highly recommend a good dog.

    by: Anonymous

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    Shame on some of you! You're judgemental jerks. Seriously. These people have every right to feel this way, and I wish more people would stop acting like having children is some magical experience. Kids are terrible, and literally take everything out of you. I had two brothers, and two sisters that I played mama to as a young child. I absolutely hated every single minute of it, and know exactly how these parents feel. I just chose to never have them since I know what terrible things come of them. One of my "miracle" siblings is a drug user that just lost her "miracle" after he was abused. She even "had no idea" he was being fed muscle relaxers by her ex roommates when they : "Babysat" him. Not everyone should have kids, and there's a lot of reality in this. Stop pushing your brain-washed opinions, and insults on others.

    by: Anonymous

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    All these comments, and the original post just make me feel so bad for those who made the decision to have kids and now regret it. I knew I never wanted to be a mom, so I have made sure I have never gotten pregnant. I am so glad I have the choice to be childfree!

    by: Anonymous

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    You are stupid. It's your fault you let it get to this now deal with it. Either leave your wife and kids or stfu and keep on losing what's left of your life. I'm just glad as a woman this will never be me. I'd rather die than let my life dwindle into motherhood. Brittany.

    by: Anonymous

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    Don't think about your wife. Don't think about your children. Think about you; it's OK. What do you need? Do you need a divorce? Do you need to work out a custody agreement so that you see your kids on weekends, or once a month? Consider if that would be better than what you are experiencing now. Simply put, this is a bad situation with no perfect solution. You have to consider what the best actions and best outcome would be for you. Think things through carefully. Consider things with your wife and see how she responds. My two cents is to put yourself first. If other people think that's horrible, f*** them. It's not their life, it's yours. Live for yourself, and make decisions accordingly. You decide if you want to stay in your marriage and stay with your family. You decide if you don't.

    by: Anonymous

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    I really hate being a mother. I wish that I'd never had kids. I feel completely imprisoned by my life. If only I was a sick psycho and could just abuse or neglect them, then I could get on with my life and not care. But unfortunately I actually love them and want them to have a good life, so I do all the stuff - try to feed them right, enrich them, nurture them, teach them all the while getting almost nothing in return. No thanks, no money, no appreciation, no social standing, no job satisfaction. I'm a nobody, whom nobody notices and my kids may not even realise how much I do for them in the future. Hell, they may even hate me. It's an endurance run, but it's one I seriously fear I may not finish. All I can say is keep on going.

    by: Anonymous

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    I'm so sick and tired of all this Jesus Christ b******* that's cummed up my f****** a** about having kids and "pleasing The Lord" through childbearing. I was raised in a mormon home and culture where if you didn't have 12 kids Christ was going to come down and f*** you up the a**. I didn't read anywhere that Jesus ever had kids???!? f*** that cross-barren f***** if he was ever real to begin with. f*** Joseph smith too, that lying child molesting con artist little f***.

    by: Anonymous

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    This post made me laugh. It was very entertaining to me at your cost of course. I'm not at your point or even close yet, I have two kids. I'm gonna share this with all my friends because it's so funny to read. Paul Parker, CO

    by: Anonymous

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    I totally relate to this. I have a spreadsheet in which I am counting down the years until I get what's left of my life back. Can't wait for them to be gone, but youngest is only 7.

    by: Anonymous

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    I hear you. I have 3 kids and they are the most annoying s*** machines I have ever had to deal with. Let me explain something to you ladies out there, you make the decisions to have these d*** kids and all we have is the responsibility. Bottom line, is leave my wife if they were never born because I can't stand her either. Kids suck! They are the reason I had to leave Miami and move to s***** a** Riverside California with her horrible disgusting family in the hot a** desert. So all you people out there that say that you should have thought about that before you had kids can eat me. My wife made my life into this catastrophe because she thought kids were a blessing blah blah blah! f*** that! I used to love life. Now I can't wait for it to be over!

    by: Anonymous

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    Dude I live in neighboring Norco, so I understand when you talk about shitty ass Riverside!!! Fuck that downgrade from Miami to Riverside! My condolences man. Yeah Im a chick and Ive known since 4th grade I dont want kids and have been on BC for 10 years so Im child free. Sorry your woman sees them as a blessing bc poop Im sorry but something that is a poop, pee, vomit, and money burning machine is not a freakin blessing, its a nightmare.

    by: Anonymous

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    Why on Earth then did you have FOUR kids?? You should have learned your lesson after the first one.

    by: Anonymous

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    Thank jesus i never had kids, i am a 37 year old married guy, nice job, good money travel once in a while, own a couple of rental properties, nice house and happy as heck. I still hate kids but i hate their parents even worst because they act like idiots when it comes to their little brats, listen dont take your kids to the movie theater or restaurant if they are going to whine, just because you haveto suffer with them dont make others bare your cross, so keepthem at home until they can behave like human beings.

    by: Anonymous

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    Fuck you man. you have no idea how insane having kids makes you feel. you can't just stay home. you would start killing everyone.

    by: Anonymous

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    No I think he does understand how insane having kids makes you feel as to why he opted out on having them. I opted out as well and your comment here shows me even more that I made a good choice bc I dont want to deal with how insane having kids would make me feel, as you put it. Ive seen plenty of examples from my friends posts on FB to seeing my brother and best friend deal with them regularly to know being a parent is not for me. I have mad respect for those that are though.

    by: Anonymous

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    You need to move on. You're an incompetent dad who doesn't appreciate your own children, your flesh and blood. How did you mom raise you? Leave now, so you can enjoy our selfish, immature life, and leave the real parenting to your ex-spouse, who will appreciate your a** being gone. Your kids don't deserve you, or man-up to what you have created. You have issues, and your children need you. Man-up!

    by: Anonymous

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    Fuck kids I hate the bastards

    by: Anonymous

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    You don't get it. He is a good dad, just fried.

    by: Anonymous

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    Die then.you don't have to live.

    by: Anonymous

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    Ok those that don't have kids will flip out because they still live in lollipop land. For those of us with kids. We know. We understand. We hope it goes away very very soon lol. Kids are the hardest thing it's one hundred and ten percent give give give. And they take take take. The end payment...screams cries good thrown at you whining ... Actual abuse from the kids from tantrums.to punches in the nuts...it's rather horrible...frustrating...and we are expected to be leave it to b***** land...if could id leave my kids with the b***** family and watch them terrorize the whole show lol. Nah but really today you feel postal. Tomorrow you"LLC feel like you can't live without them again. Every day brings new experiences. Yes you'll be fifty one day so hire a babysitter or leave the wife with the kids and leave for a two week vacation

    by: Anonymous

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    Why would those that don't have kids flip out? I don't have any, and reading this guy's post makes me thank my lucky stars that I had enough sense not to breed!

    by: Anonymous

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    Leave the wife with the kids?? Oh yes, because I'm sure she doesnt ever feel the EXACT same way and that's completely reasonable and fair. How about they BOTH go, leave the kids with grandma and grandpa, and run away (forever, if possible, but 2 weeks would be a good start).

    by: Anonymous

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    Greetings from Lollipop Land! It's freaking awesome here! We get as much sleep as we want, and we can have nice things! Are we "selfish"? Perhaps. Or maybe you're just jealous. Have fun getting your life energy sucked out of you by your little vampires. Next time you and your litter get cut off in traffic by a snazzy little BMW roadster, that'll be me - the Lollipop Guild throws one hell of a party, and I wouldn't want to miss it. BTW: don't bother trying to come back at me with some lame comment, because no matter what you say, you'll still be wiping the crap off your rug-ape's butt and worrying yourself to an early grave, while I'm livin' the dream.

    by: Anonymous

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    I hope you crash your little pansy BMW roadster & die a painful death. You sound like an idiot so you probably will. As much as my little knuckle-head bugs me & sometimes I wish she wasn't there, she's still more of a bad ass at two year's old than you ever will be. Smooches from the farm in Kansas you jack ass! ;-)

    by: Anonymous

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    OMG I just died from laughter

    by: Anonymous

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    Hahahahaha sucky to be you should have kept it in your pamts r*****

    by: Anonymous

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    WTF are pamts?

    by: Anonymous

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    U mother fuker, if u feel that way about kids u shouldnt have any on the first place! Cut ur dik off or get an operation ,sorry a** excuse for a parent! U think u would learn after the first one and u feel like s*** after the 4th one? Ur a fukin idiot!!! Get ur head out of ur a** and if u hate kids plz give them to unfortunate couple that cant have any and would love to take urs, or just shoot urself on ur full of s*** head for thinkin that way, if u think that ur kife suks bcause of ur kids then f** urself instead of a girl so u dont have any more, i wonder if ur parents felt the same way after they had u,,?? I feel sorry for u kids for having such a dushbag as a dad!

    by: Anonymous

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    This is appalling. An uneducated rant by a demented person who almost certainly regrets their own decisions.

    by: Anonymous

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    Yeahh... Dushbags...

    by: Anonymous

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    Umm... you spelled douche wrong...

    by: Anonymous

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    I so understand you. i have 2 kids that i love n would do anything to protect them but i REALLY REGRET HAVING KIDS! I had a amazing life before i had them and now i have all the money i want and cant do or go anywhere that i want. I miss my freedom, sleep...... I cry everyday and regret every minute of each day my decision. Sometimes i wish i can leave and never come back and i would do it if only my first child's father was a good father like my second childs father. I even say it out loud to my husband and family that i hate being a mom. I wish one day not to feel this way ;(((

    by: Anonymous

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    Bunny.

    by: Anonymous

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    I am really sorry to hear this, but it's great that you vented your feelings online. At least YOU are honest about feelings most frustrated parents try to cover up every single day of their life!! (Insert here: many awkward conversations with coworkers and friends whose quality of life obviously suffered under the pressures of parenthood.) I knew very early on that I would hate screaming fuzzy bald babies, incapable of controlling their bodily fluids. I hate toddlers creating havoc, throwing temper tantrums, being irrational, and unable to speak English (or Dutch, in my case :D) in a proper way. Am I just cold? No, but I am an adult, preferring adult stuff and adult conversation. I seriously lack the patience of having to listen to squeaky little voices 24/7. I could not handle 10 years of drama from 4 human babies and toddlers. I think anyone who can, even if they are fed up with having to do it, is a saint. Having that said... I think it is commendable you are hanging in there and are still married and living with your family. One consolation: things WILL get better when your kids get older. They may live in the house for a longer period of time, but you will be able to have a reasonably sensible conversation with them in a short while. Lastly... People, please read his post before making random accusations. Parenthood is not all rainbows and lollipops! He is not jealous or trying to be an a******, period. He is just frustrated and he has every right to feel that way. Oh, and just for the record: I am a woman, I am majoring in Philosophy and Cultural Studies, and I will not be having children (big surprise). I respect people who have kids, but I don't expect them to be better human beings than I am, i.o.w., I expect parents get frustrated with their children too. I don't understand why some people are so upset about this post.

    by: Anonymous

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    Yeah. Not a drinker either. Think I could be though with the parenthood thing. And I'm always the bad guy if I so much as utter such sentiment. I've been living the same lie for several years now. Don't know what to do with it.

    by: Anonymous

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    Thank you for having the courage to not keep your head tucked into the sand. Speaking honestly about the way that most people feel is taboo and as the comments display, make people very uncomfortable. To deprive ourselves and everyone around us of honesty would to be deceiving them into decisions we KNOW they wouldn't be happy in. That's what's going on in the child worship culture. Deception. Telling someone they're walking through a rose garden when they can SEE it's just a field of dog poo is lying to them. People perpetuate their baby fever by latching their own baggage onto other people's lives (it's different when it's your own, you'll feel differently once you hold it, they're so cute, you can live your life through them over and over). Honestly I'd think being a parent would be f****** horrid and awful. So I'll do my part and stay child free. Have the talk about having kids with your own kids. Tell them they're not bound or obligated to have children.

    by: Anonymous

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    I def feel this way a lot. I'm a new mom. My son haut turned 14mo and I already can't wait till he starts school so I have some of the day to myself. His father is useless in the helping with the baby dep. prob why we broke up. But anyways. I love my son to death I just regret having him now at 25 vs 35. I have no social life and all I do is sit home all day with my son and clean and cook for him when the day is thru I still haven't showered and only had a coffee n a sandwich....yet my son gets washed everyday And 3+ meals a day plus his 5 bottles of milk! Phew that felt good to vent. Ur def not alone dude

    by: Anonymous

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    Wow, you're jealous of your own son. How nice you are. I'm sorry but from the way you are speaking you DO hate your son. And if you barely have time to shower, how the fuck are you on the internet venting your selfishness away? Besides, did you think raising a baby was easy???

    by: Anonymous

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    You're an idiot. Her post in no way implies or explicitly states jealousy of her son. To berate her and tell her that she hates her son is pathetic. No one knows what to expect before they have a child and it's ridiculous to imply otherwise. You seem like the type to not be happy unless you are running someone down. Everyone, at times in their lives, feels stress and despair re: their situation whether they created that situation or not. One day, you will be there. Hopefully someone will have the maturity not to kick you when you're already down.

    by: Anonymous

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    I feel the same way... I feel trap with both of my kids. I feel like a horrible mom when I have these thoughts. I can't wait for them to grow up and be self sufficient. Husband will never know that I tied my tubes because I didn't want anymore kids. I wanted to have 4 but after the second one I change my mind. I love my children and would do anything for them but I am definally not mom material.

    by: Anonymous

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    Just give them up for adoption, so that they will not feel like a bother. Bitch.

    by: Anonymous

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    I suppose you think adoption is a cure all. It isn't and it's is born out of lost.

    by: Anonymous

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    Omg, how can you say they were a mistake? :-S What's wrong with you, man? You'll probably end up abusing them or something, you a******! Nobody forced you to have kids. They are your kids, you should lvoe them like your life. What if someone said you were a mistake? Don't you have a heart? Selfish j***. You're p***** that your own kids yell from time to time. Well I felt bad for you until you said they were a mistake. f*** you!

    by: Anonymous

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    I am glad I read this before having children myself. Put perspective out there, and to be honest everyone reading this will and should know that children are little s**** that will be your new sadder uninteresting life. Why? because we were all kids at some time everyone can remember how much s*** we have and sometimes still do to our parents. Know what your getting into!

    by: Anonymous

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    I wanted a child so badly and rushed into it. I knew I'd have fertility problems I was a stepmother and wanted my husband and I to share a child I wanted to be pregnant and have another project afer I got married. I worked in child care and was totally stressed there I should have known that being a mom would be hard. I have a 4 year old stay home with him my husband is an over the road trucker. I'm not happy and can't wait for him to grow up. Being a parent is hard I wish I thought more about it before I jumped into it. The only reason I wanted a 2nd was to be pregnant again and feel close to my husband who is gone all the time. I'm glad we decided not too and are def done. Just wish I thought about it more before my son such a huge decision.

    by: Anonymous

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