I f***** my husbands brother. I actually f***** his brother before I f***** him, back when I first met the two of them about 6 years ago. I met his brother first, then met him, then f***** his brother, and then him a few weeks later. I connected more with my husband, we where friends first and hung out all the time, I started having feelings for him, and it killed me when he started dating my neighbor. It was an apartment complex and her door was right next to mine and I could hear them talking through the walls. She was older than him and a nasty skank if you ask me. She was also a thief and ended up stealing some s*** from his grandma so he quit seeing her and she ended up moving so i didnt have to deal with her anymore either. After that he started coming around more and I started staying at his house more and more and eventually left my apartment to live with him. 2 years ago we got married and we have 3 kids now. During the time when he was seeing my neighbor, his brother would come over from time to time and we would hang out,get f***** up and have sex, then the next morning he would go home. My husband has always known about me and his brother back in the day. But he thinks it was only one time and that was before I ever slept with him. When actually it was a bunch of times before I first slept with him and a few times after i first slept with him...and then once since we have been married. I couldnt help it. It was always just a sexual thing with me and him..thats why I didnt marry him. In fact, there are times when we dont even get along. But still actracted to each other. He lives right next door. Once, before we where married, i was at his house with my husband and my husband went home to take a shower and I was so drunk I just couldnt help myself. I got so h**** sitting there talking to his brother, remembering what a big d*** he has and rememebering that how much bettter he was than my husband in bed. My husband has never satisfied me sexually. He is little and cant last long enough for me to get off. Anyways, when he went home and Im sittin there getting wet thinking about his brother...I kissed him...and got rock hard I could see it through his jeans so i unzipped him and sucked his d*** and then started feeling bad, and told him i was going home before it went any further. Then about a year later me and my husband got into this huge fight and his brother called me knowing about the fight trying to get me to ride to the liquor store with him so I did and I ended up sucking his d*** again on the way there. My husband never knew I went anywhere with him cuz after the fight I left and went driving around town and after talkint to his brother on the phone, i met him in town and got in his truck. A few days after that his brother came over and we where all hanging out and i was sitting there thinking about his d*** again and how I wanted so bad to do more than suck it. I wanted it inside me baaaad. Then, my husband got called into work. As soon as he left I jumped on his brother and ended up f****** him in our bed. After that, we didnt talk to each other for a long time. (me and his brother) I felt horrible and still do. Me and his brother have never messed around again and havnt talked about the time that we did. We just both kinda act like it didnt happen. My husband doesnt have a clue. Thats beeen a while ago now. But I would f*** his brother again and think about it all the time even though I know it would just make me feel like s***. Sometimes I think about cheating on him with somebody else, nobody in particular just think about maybe finding a f*** buddy online or something who isnt his brother. But I would probably feel just as bad even if he wasnt related to the guy. I love my husband. He is the only person I have ever really been in love with. And if his d*** was bigger and he could f*** longer, I would have never even thought about cheating on him with his brother or anybody else. For 6 years now...everytime I have had sex..its been with a little d*** for maybe 2 or 3 mins and thats it. Except the one time I slept with his brother. Thats been the only real d*** I have had in 6 years. My husband gets me so dam wet and ready to f*** and then I just get let down every time and I am left to do the job myself. d***** just arent the same though. I want a real d***. I just wish my husband could give it to me. I dont want to cheat for the excitement or because my husband doesnt turn me on or because im just a nympho. I only think about cheating because I know thats the only way I will ever get to be satisfied by a man and IT REALLY SUCKS cuz i dont want to be a cheating w****, I really dont. But its either that, or sacrifice my own needs to be faithful. What should I do?