Funny Confessions & Secrets

I want to be a slave

I don't know why but I constantly fantasize about being a slave. It can be both sexual and non sexual. I just want someone to claim me and their property. I want to be owned. I want them to exert their power and control over me in whichever ways they want. I want to have no rights, no thoughts of my own, no freedom. I want to be tied up and... [more]


I want to beat up Hans Strudel

The Toaster Strudel kid Hans Strudel needs to have his little blond face punched a few times. I want to see how he thinks of warm, flaky, gooey TOASTER STRUUUUDELS then!


I've been catfishing this guy for 6 months

Ok my confession is that I have this 30 year old guy thinking I'm some hot 25 year old beautiful flight stewardess. We started chatting innocently enough and after a few weeks this guy tells me he thinks he's falling in love with me. We met on a social networking site. I had a fake profile and fake photo of this hot woman I found online, I... [more]


I threw a rock at a kid I didn't like

He was at my grandfathers farm and he was one of the worst pests I have ever known. He would come over while I had friends over and do and say stupid things. He was five years younger than me so like a lot of kids with younger brat brothers you can understand. Wed tell his a** to go home but he would refuse.

On... [more]


He really tried lol

My ex-boyfriend , who now has a new lover , a guy in which I totally dislike . My ex called me tonight and was telling me about his day . He knows I love the youtuber Pewdiepie . So he proceeded to tell me how he spent literally ALL of today watching "Crazy Wheels" . I was like . " "What's that ? You mean Happy Wheels ?" He was like "Oh yeah yeah... [more]


Wish I could find out more

I'm really glad my ex-boyfriend told me he had sex with his cousin.


I am so happy I am skinny!

When I was fat I used to wonder when will I ever get a skinny body. But now that I am skinny people jealous and I know it! It feels so nice to be one of the skinny ones and to finally wear clothes that fit. I am so much more prettier. But now I can't help but laugh at the fat people… :\ kinda rude but man it feels so great to be SKINNY


calling people

I like to call random people and brag about my 8 inch c*** and tell them how big and fat it is and tell them to suck it for me and drink my c**. And it turns me on when guys say homophobic stuff and threaten to kill me to only minutes into the phone call start talking homosexual back to... [more]


My friend is crazy

My friend made a minion out of clay her sister smooched it already so I squished more she said she could f***ing kill me right now and couldn't stop cursing she came in crying I kept laughing she told me to leave I said You can stop being a brat and stop crying I shut her up I was thinking thank god she stopped be a freaking brat now I question... [more]


Mothers

I make my mom presents and she thanks me but my brothers don't she told me that there a**holes I laughed


Jack And Diane

For so long in I always thought the lyrics to the Mellencamp song said "changes come around real soon, make us swimming in bed". Of course it actually says is "changes come around real soon, make us women and men." I thought he was talking about puberty and wet dreams lol.


I want

I want a red rider bb gun


Bowling

One time we made fun of my friend for getting the bowling ball stuck in the gutter and then it happens to me and the adult got yelled at for getting the ball herself and so I had to get it he guy and I told him my friend got it stuck again and I got back and they were laughing at me and i said joke on you because I told him it was you best day... [more]


Tranny

I met a pretty Mexican woman on badoo. I arranged to go see her tonight. She gave me her address. I drove there and she texts me on the way and tells me she's a granny...which is cool. I get there and who I thought was her (pic was slightly different than in person) opens the door and we get busy. She texts me and calls me a liar says I never... [more]


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