iIwas raped as a child every day

So my husband know's that I was abused from four years old untill 12 by my stepfather. He was a armed guard with shot guns in the the house. I was always so scared he would killl us all. So i never told. I have nightmears till this day.It would often happen mabe twice a day during my sleep as well. I can not be touched during my sleep now as a adult b/c I wake up scared . My husband doesnt understand this so he says hurtful things. He blame's me for not telling my mom. My mom always took him back no matter what he did would could I have done. It hurt's me so b/c it is ruing our marriage b/c he says I cat sleep naked or be touched. : (

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  • Aww Hun, I know this is a late comment but I really feel for you. As an abuse survivor myself I Know it is not easy and I've always destroyed the few healthy relationships I may have had because I just can't outrun my past. I just want to say it IS NOT your fault, and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Even when you feel alone, know that someone somewhere "gets it" and we will BOTH make it through this. Be strong. -KMK-

  • If he won't/can't understand your trauma, maybe he's not worth hanging onto hon. It sounds to me like you've had a rotten enough time of it as it is with your husband being so insensitive! I do not have any past abuse history, but I am an extremely light sleeper who can't stand being touched or cuddled when I sleep. My boyfriend and I sleep in separate rooms and we're quite happy with the arrangement. Maybe you and your hubby could work something like that out? Our s** life is still as good as ever, we just don't sleep well together.

  • Damn, editing problems.. here's the missing part!

    If my foot brushed against her while she was alseep, she would sit bolt upright and panic. Our s** life SUCKED, and I was as patient as I could be, but it was too much and I had to get out before I got too f***** up...

  • My ex-wife was abused from 3-14, and had a similar thing about being touched while she was asleep. If my foot brushed against her while SUCKED, and I was as patient as I could be, but it was too much and I had to get out before I got too f***** up...
    Good luck to you, I hope you can work through your pain and someday be ok!

  • Your husband sounds like a real winner...almost as much as your step-devil and mom. I am sorry for your continued hurt.

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