I have this fantasy of getting raped. I'm 19 yrs old and I've had this fantasy since I was around 13. I don't want them to kill me or anything. Just rape me, hit me, slap me, abuse me. Lock me up in a room and the only things I would be allowed to do is eat and sleep and get raped the whole day. I used the word rape cus I don't want to enjoy it from the start. I want the person to be forceful with me, make me do the things I don't want to. Just thinking about it make me h**** so much. I hate myself..