Am I a w**** or what?

I am married and I have been married since july of this year me and my husband have had some major issues from drugs to sexual issues. he always takes off on these binges and gets high and well i have slept with my sons dad several times then i also got with another friend of mine at one time and then i slept with an old love from 10 years ago who says he still loves me and i swear we were meant to be i have tried to get with him for the past 5 yrs now but he was married and now he is not and he is everything i ever wanted but i feel if i leave my husband now he is going to kill himself on drugs or something and omg it has been one big screwed up mess

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