So confused.. Am i q****?
So up until recently i thought i was straight.. I am female and my best friend came out to me as a lesbian about a year ago. I have always been very accepting and a lot of my friends are gay guys. When she came out to me, absolutely nothing changed. We still hung out like usual, acted like best friends, and neither of us we're uncomfortable. She has a very difficult time accepting her sexuality, so we don't talk about it much.
Anyways, I am a senior in high school, and as you know the year is coming to a close. Lately all I can think about is spending next year without her as my best friend. The thought of going to separate colleges makes me incredibly sad and feel lonely.
Although I do think that she is attractive (I think it's possible to find beauty in both genders) I just can't imagine myself having s** with a woman.. ever. So that makes me think, alright I'm not q**** im just lonely. However.. I get jealous when she's with other friends, I am very protective in the sense that i worry about her all the time, i love the the little quirky things about her that not many people know, and the way she can always make me smile and s*** like that. I don't want to have s** with her though.. and to me, the only difference between friends and being in a relationship is s**.
Is this normal? Am I in love with her or is this just happening because I don't want to lose my best friend to college?
Also.. I feel like i thought she liked me. But i'm not sure if that's really the case or im imagining things because i know she's gay and nobody else knows. I've considered talking to her.. but even if she does like me, I would be too terrified to be in a relationship with her. And if she doesn't like me I feel like I would be let down for some reason. So.. help?
I'm so confused, if anyone can offer advice please I appreciate it.