Fake S** Therapist

I always wanted to be a therapist and help people deal with their problems. The thing is, I'm a lazy s*** and couldn't complete a year of college if you did the work for me.

But what I can do is Photoshop a college diploma, lease a small office downtown, and put out some simple advertising that I'm a licensed clinical therapist specializing in sexual dysfunction. I just called around to the local general practitioners and ob/gyno offices and let them know I was in town. Faxed them some advertisements promising a small referral fee and the next thing you know the phone started ringing off the hook.

Nope, sorry I don't take insurance. Payment is in cash at the time of service and you can file with your insurance company yourself, thank you very much. Oh, you're a MAN? Sorry, we don't have any appointments open for several months. What, you're over 50? Sorry, no appointments available for a couple months.

I see 5-6 women every day and listen to them talk about their sexual issues. Inevitably, the first fix is for them to learn to m********* more and who better to teach them then their friendly therapist? Next it's to be more comfortable with their bodies and being touched. It goes on like this until they're coming in for an hour long s** session that they pay $250 for....

I know this can't go on for long. At some point one of the insurance companies will catch on when they run my license number (lifted off an actual therapist's certificate) and I'll be outed. But in another month I'll have $20k in the bank and will just close the office and open another half way across the US. I'm sure Nashville or Memphis has lots of sexually frustrated women who need a good therapist.

You know the really f***** up thing? Most of these women tell me I've saved their marriages, made them new women, helped them overcome trauma, and done it faster and cheaper than anyone else they've seen!

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2 Comments

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  • hahahahahahaaaa.... well if these women are goin to a therapist without doing their homework first (ei. making sure it is an actual liscenced therapist) then they are stupid and kudos to you sir.... hahahahahahahaaaaa

  • Have fun getting as raped in jail.

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