When i was eight my older brother f***** me. for years i thought it was my fault because I hadn't fought or argued against it.
I never told anyone because I never thought it would make a difference.
I tried not to think about it for years and years but at the end of my last relationship I decided that I couldn't have relationships any more because every time I let someone into my life I felt like I wasn't fighting or arguing and just giving myself away easily like I did when I was eight.
Its been five years since I was last with anyone and now I'm worried that I might lash out with some random act of malice.
I'm frightened that I might hurt my brothers children in some misguided attempt at vengeance and the idea makes me want to go to some far away place and pick a tree to hang myself from

Jun 20, 2011

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  • let me be honest with you l did the same thing with my sister too she didn't say any thing either we had this sexual relation ship until our mid twenties. now she is married and have two beautiful kids she also had thought as you think till I met her last time I asked her to forget that because we are not the only people who have under gone such thing let the bygone be bygone move with your life there are plenty of happiness ahead of your life letting your past hold you in to the ground is the failure take a deep breathe determine your self that you are going to be happy person. remember,"The greatest thing is not never falling but rising every time we fall"

  • You need to talk with someone. It wasn't your fault. You deserve to be in a happy and loving relationship. Go and get help. Speak with someone about this. is a good organization. It's a start.

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