Bought A P**** Pump To Shut My Girlfriend Up

I got so p***** off about my girlfriend complaining about my small p**** I bought a p**** pump. When I double the size of my p**** it will be a sweet revenge to see her choking on it, B****!

She p***** me off more when I caught her checking out my friend John's package when we were at the beach, and said to me later, "Why can't you have a big gorgeous c*** like John's?"

Man, that was so f****** rude! It's not like I complain about her itty bitty t***, or compare them to her friend's mouthwatering double D's.

She's going to pay when I get my p**** up to par. She's going to pay bigtime and will wish she never dissed my p****. F*** you, Irene!

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  • Um okay. You have a small d*** dude, and no she shouldn't be fantasizing about John. But a p**** pump, and all that rude language? She is your partner in love before your partner in s**. If you two are having these issues and you want revenge, Obviously things aren't working out. Besides a lot of girls like skill over size. Size counts I admit, but passion is the seller, and its obvious you aren't passionate... And I had no idea Irene was staring at my stuff like that.

  • I bet her p**** stinks!!!

  • What a b****!!!

  • you don't need to put up with that crap, get rid of her!

  • If you wanted to shut her up you should have bought a ball gag instead.

  • Funny how women can complain about d*** size and then they have itty bitty t*** or a loose, hairy gash. Any chick who does, increase your t** size and tighten up your p**** then!

  • Funny you should mention tying stuff to your d***. I used to have a small slong, 3 inches full mast, until I saw a video of an Indian Yogi walking around with a weight attached to his slong. Inspired by his mystical feat, I began tying light weights around mine. 2 1/2 pounds was a challenge at first. Two years later, I'm up to 2 50 pound plates and my slong is super sized, 12 inches limp. It takes guts and patience to make your d*** manly this way, but the pay off is f****** amazing! If they had an Olympic event for lifting weights with your slong, I'm sure I'd win, bigtime.

  • I had problems like yours. One girl called me teenie weenie. P***** me off. The Bonro Vacurect P**** Pump, that respects your need for intimacy, fixed all that s***. After only six months my package got so big I had to stop using the pump for fear I'd get Elephantiasis of the d***. Know what I'm saying?

  • If she wasn't such a f****** w**** she would't have such a huge gash. I'd f*** up the ass and when you're ready to dump stick an ice pick in the back of her skull. Yeah yeah definitely that.

  • A pump will not permanantly increase your d*** size, sorry.

  • F*** her a few more times, live out some fantasies, do a group session on her with your friends, tape it, fill her up and dump her.

    Yep, exactly that. She should shut the f*** up. I'm very well endowed but even I understand that she should shut the f*** up. She's a b****. Tell her about her tiny t*** when you dump here by the way, try to catch it on video too so you can enjoy the moment again and again afterwards.

    I'm not sure about the pump thing though, I mean, if it will work.

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