Drugs S** and Booze.
Recently, I went through a change in my life. I'm younger let's say, young enough I shouldn't have to deal with the things I'm going through. Really though? Who's to say who's old enough and whatever. Age is just a number. Anyways within this summer I started smokin cigarets, I'm to a pack a day now. I lost my virginity last month, which really hasn't hit me yet. The guy was decent about three years older, we got drunk, I had just lost my bestfriend and really, why the h*** not? We f***** a couple of times until I didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore. I didn't feel anything there and honestly, I just got board. I sniffed coke out of boredom as well. Because again, why the h*** not. I don't know how many of you read the newspaper or watch the new, but I know some of you have to know about the helicopter that went down in Afghanistan. One of the men who perished in that was my neighbor, my childhood friends father. he was the kindest sweetest man. He took me and my friend places, played games, made forts. . I watched them
Move into there house when I was seven. When they first pulled into the driveway. I was there. Let's just say I'm alot older now and we both live in the same homes. He's dead. And nothing ever in this world will bring a man like him back. I can't imagine what she is going through. But it got me thinking. Why is someone so damn worthless crawling around on this earth still. Why am I. Why is it people like him, with hearts so full of love and compassion. Die? He was trying to save our soldiers, seals. And he died for it. He lost two children. A wife. A bitchy rude wife, even though I feel bad for her it doesn't erase that fact. Why does someone like her get to breath? When someone like him, is blown to s*** and won't see his daughter graduate. Won't see her get married. Won't see her children. Not right. It's not. Please, god if your there. Take him peacefully and help his family. Things in this life just suck. And what happens after? Is there really haven? Really a god. Or do we all die and just, disspear? Where do WE go? And honestly. There is no forever? Is there? That's just to hard to believe. And space? Where nothing compared to it. I guess that just shows something. It shows exactly who we all are. What we all are. Why can't we find the answer to it? The after. Bibles and books and letters and lies and hocus pocas won't save my soul. Then what will? What proof is there. I just want to fall asleep without having this haunting my mind. And really? Just think. Stop for one second because you don't know you really could die. Right now. Today even. So stop. What would you leave behind? Where would you go? Please just take a moment. It really could be you. Who cares about cars and tv shows and f****** money when you could die right now. The world could end right now and then what. Nobody gives a f*** what you got. Not even you.