I was raped.

I was at a get together, and my cousins had gotten very drunk and weren't really paying attention to me after that... I was only 13 hanging out with Freshman - Seniors in college. I remember just sitting downstairs at the Frat house we were at only because it was quiet and no one was down there. Then, came two guys... guys I knew and didn't think anything of. They're football players for a major University in California. They knew I was alone, they knew I was young... but yet, they drugged me with something to drink and when I was barely incoherent they raped me. Both of them... I lost my virginity that night to two guys who meant NOTHING to me... absolutely nothing. It last almost an hour, thirty minutes each... I was so embarrassed and scared that after it all ended I just stayed downstairs... crying myself to sleep. I was awaken by my oldest cousin, and she had the smell of alcohol just oozing off of her. I was never so disgusted in my life. She knows what happened to me that day, both of them do. I could've said something about those two guys raping me, but I couldn't and I can't. They're very known around the University and how would I look... I have so much emotional damage from this. I mean, I won't even have s** with any guy until I know for sure he won't hurt me, I barely like being touched by a guy and I have some of the lowest self esteem. I just feel useless everytime I think about it, and how weak I was. I hate myself for not being stronger and saying anything about it to anyone except a few people.. not even my parents know, nor my brothers, or grandma... I won't ever tell them. I just wish it'd all go away. The sad thing about it, I still associate with the two guys, I saw them this summer... I'm pathetic I know.


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  • I can relate so much...I am 15 and I was molested by my aunt's boyfriend...I told my aunt and she confronted him about it but he said it was an accident and they got back together and I still see him... he acts as if nothing ever happened...but now my dad knows and we are working on getting him arrested. The point of me saying this tho was that you should tell a parent or the cops and get them in trouble cause sitting there and saying nothing is doing nothing to help you

  • you MUST tell someone about this. These 2 guys did this to you w/o regard to your feelings,respect,dignity so if they are not reported guess what someone else could be getting raped also b/c they'll think they got away with it (who know's how many times) so I URGE you to report this to the authorities I know it'll be tough but TRUST

    You will not regret it and listen to the others who are saying you need to report these 2 knuckleheads

    Wish you the best.

  • Report them they are evil people to take away your virginity like that. talk to someone about it there are forums on teh internet where people who have been raped help boost each other search for them and remember they cant take away your beauty until you truly give it to them which you didnt so you are still very beautiful and not useless. Take heart my dear.

  • Like the comment above, report them. tell somone. Because ur not going to be the only girl who they will hurt.
    you will be stronger if u tell someone.

  • Report them. Not just for your sake

  • you must tell someone! if only to stop them doing it to someone else!! you arent useles or weak, its hard to confront the truth sometimes.

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