Consentual s** with the boy who raped me
I was raped at 16
by a boy that I considered to be my best friend. we weren't dating or seeing each other whatsoever. he invited me over to work on his truck. his dad left for work; it wasn't long before that, i was pinned to his mattress with him on top of me. i couldn't move, i was so scared that he'd hurt me. he kissed my face and whispered in my right ear that he was going to take my pants off.
I froze and stuttered 'no'
before I could fight back, he was inside me.
after therapy, doctors and 'me time'
i figured i was back on my feet. this boy and i rarely spoke a word to each other except for the small talk in our mechanics class.
3 years later.
i found myself in the same predicament, only, i accepted it for what it was.
i've willingly have s** with him twice since the rape.
I feel as if i'm falling in love with the idea someone loves me.