HORRIBLE HUSBAND...I'm just a pervert.
I've been married for nearly 6 years. My wife is beautiful, caring, compassionate...truly a great woman.
But for the past 3 years I've been "hobbying", going to a mix of prostitutes, brothels, and massage parlors. I have no other explanation than I love s** and always have. I was and still am big on p***, very visual, and the hobbying is a manifestation of alot of that. My wife and I have a mediocre s** life. She's gorgeous and I'm not bad (but not as attractive as she is), but she has a more reserved personality about that stuff and p*** has never been a part of her life.
It feels like it's really just about the s** for me. I don't want to marry another woman, I just love the physical act of these places. I know if I truly loved my wife, I'd put her ahead of myself in this regard, but I feel like I do in every other area in life. I pay all the bills, take care of our assets, help her with her schoolwork, take care of all my in-laws business affairs.
So I don't know what to do. I've probably spent over $10,000 hobbying the past 3 years, and she doesn't know about it. I feel guilty but I can't stop going. I just love being stroked by this women, especially in a table shower. Everytime I'm in a new city alone (I travel quite a bit) I look online for places to visit.
I don't want to break her heart, but I'm afraid she'll find out eventually and that would really devastate her and me. I don't have any signs of disease, but still...I don't want to do this anymore. But then I do.