I want to f*** my best friend and i'm not sure i love my boyfriend anymore
For the past 3 years i've been happily living with my boyfriend, whom i met online about 5 years ago. we moved in together after meeting up and all has been mostly well since then. Lately though i've been a little unsure of how i feel about him and how long i can keep myself with my boyfriend, whom i really care about, but am starting to lose sight of the deep love i originally had for him. its all very confusing to me, as he's the first real love i've had. but now i'm like, it feels like i'm just living with a guy i happen to share a bed with eat with, f*** with, and kiss alot. i care about him alot but, sometimes i worry the loves not there anymore.
But lately i've found myself feeling attracted to another friend of mine online, whom lives very close by me. theres just something about him i really like and want, and ever since i saw pictures of his face i've been fantasizing about him sexually. and its all i can think about. i really want to like,meetup and hang out with him sometime as friends, but i'm afraid all i could do would be stare at him and check him out.
I am sort of mean to him to hide the fact i like him this way, similar to how young children would bully they're crush.
Do i admit to him i want him? should i just forget about it and just enjoy what i have with my boyfriend?