I have made some horrible choices following the "incident". I have hurt a lot of people, made selfish decisions and acted like a self indulgent child. I have never told anyone or even fully accepted what happened to myself. I have always considered myself to be above all self pity, and was secure in my ability to suffer silently. I don't ever plan on giving and explanation to my closest friends and family for my erratic and uncharacteristic behavior. I am certain that over time I will forget and live a happy normal life. Recently I have begun to question if it really was what I thought, because I am positive the second party does not think so. I know what happened, I know it was rape... but if a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, did it really make a sound?