Being a s*** just to be accepted

I'm a black 16yo girl. I'm pretty smart at school, but not smart in life I guess. I live in a high-mid class part of town where most people are white. I don't really have any problems at school or at home. I'm a straight A student and try to be a good person. But it's hard to feel different when most of the people you know look different and make you feel different.

I'm used to comments like "you're the first black person who comes to my house" and stuff like that. I know they don't mean it in a bad way, but it still hurts a little.

I didn't have much friends until last year because I decided to do things to become more popular. I started by giving away my homework and things like that. Then someone started inviting me out and after a few times we ended up having s**, but I think I did it more to not feel rejected and to keep being part of his group.

The same thing happened with another guy and then with another. They didn't really commit to anything, so I can't say they were my bf's. In about 14 months I've been with six guys and every time I end up feeling like they just wanted to see what it's like to f*ck a black girl.

Just a couple of days ago my current "bf" told me that his best friend wanted to do it with a black girl but he didn't really know any. He asked me if I wanted to be with him just for fun. His friend is cute, so I don't really mind. But I feel like a w**** having s** with people I don't really care for just to be accepted as part of their lives.

I think I'm popular now, but not for the right reasons. I know some of my "friends" like me because I'm the class s***.

I'm pathetic.

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  • Don't let them fool you. Everyone loves a s***. I would love to find a nice submissive black s*** I can enjoy for awhile. You don't complain about what they do to you just that they don't keep you around. Face it your a sub. I would have you pulling a train for a few friends and train you so you could relax and enjoy it.

  • You want to keep a guy - don't give him s**. Once a guy has s** the challenge is over. Wham bang thank you mam. Then he falls asleep and then he starts looking for his next conquest. Guys love challenges you have to be a challenge for him. Not a b****. Someone he will move heaven and earth for. You do that by tease and time but not s**. So challenge him to not to m*********. Bet he is not strong enough. Gentle teasing kisses and rough stuff too but no o***** for him but lots of attention.

  • ***It's only f***** up, if you DON'T feel bad about it. (My mistake. I'm the last anonymous person that commented.)

  • Well at least you're able to feel guilty. Actually, being able to feel guilty is good. It just means we're all human and that we do have a soul. It's only f***** up if you feel bad about it, but instead of not doing anything. Do something about it. Stop being a w****. Kk, bye. :]

  • OP, you seem really intelligent and thoughtful. It's better to be alone in this world than sell your soul just to not be alone or lonely. I hope you eventually take better care of yourself and give yourself the respect I think you really deserve. You are a nice person inside but letting others influence and control you too much. And you've got a raw deal living where you live too but you won't have to be there forever. Think of the big picture of your life, what's going on now won't be forever, things will change.

  • Just stop the f****** s*** already. Am a blk guy, and even in med school, I still see some blk females fall into the same trap, how many white guys have the b**** to take a blk gal home? and u should have more respect for yourself than to be their experimental monkey. Am not again interracial dating. I actually do it alot but have some respect for yourself, your parents, and your race little one. If you were my sister you would be getting some spanking....:)

  • I also like to have the odd black p****, you guys are just so easy, and not shy of performing oral and experimenting a bit. And of course we pay a lot more attention to your needs in bed than our black counterparts, yip I'm generalizing, but there exceptions either way of course.

    You do it because you don't want to loose your white lover/friend or f*** buddy. It's like it's a step up in class for you girls. It shouldn't really be like that, but it is what it is.

  • Your comments are rude but are true. As humiliating as it is, you are right when you mention that I'm willing to perform well in bed. After the first couple of times I've tried to make the best of it and I've been told several times that I'm way better than the white girls they've been with. Even when I take that as a compliment, I can't help feeling like a stupid w**** afterwards.

  • Your an idiot and as a black girl myself I can honestly say your giving black girls a bad name. If your the only one they know they'll start to think all of us are whores it's bad enough we have so many stereotypes that your dumb ass has to go around giving these white guys the p**** out of both pants legs. Grow the f*** up and be strong. If they don't accept you who gives a f*** that's their problem. Your in school to learn not to be some white guys j*** bucket experiment. I hate to be harsh but they are USING YOU TO THE FULLEST EXTENT. you are officially the white mans s***. Might as well call them "Massa" while your at it...

  • Oh shut the f*** up its her right to f*** whoever she wants, she's not giving anyone a bad name but herself...

  • I know what I do is wrong. That's why I posted it under the "embarrassing" category. There's no need for you to be harsh. I don't know what your personal situation is, but I guess you have the chance to spend time with many black friends. That is not my case. I often felt out of place or very lonely. At least now I feel included as part of a group.

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