I Might Be Going To H***
Because my pastor thinks I'm a great Christian he let me pass the collection plate at our big church. Little does he know I always take some of the money for myself. Sometimes I feel God wanted me to do that because He got me in a position to pass the collection plate and he hasn't punished me for sort of tipping myself for my work. At other times I feel maybe God will send me to H*** for robbing the church of some of its money. Maybe he gets real mad when you steal from one of his churches. I don't know.
I'm in too deep to tell anybody and I've only taken about $500 over the past two years. To tell the truth I like the excitement of taking the money and the thrill of not getting caught. And I believe if God didn't want me taking that money he would have stopped me by now. Maybe with some lightning bolts, or by telling the pastor in a dream or giving him a hunch about my stealing.
But that ain't happened and I'm just too damn good at stealing to ever get caught except by a miracle from God, which if it ain't happened in two years I don't see it happening ever.