My boyfriend sucks at s**.
I am 16 years old name is April and my bf turned 18 his name is Seth last week. we've been dating for at least 3 and a half years. and just starting a few months ago we started well not s** but doing little tiny parts of s** each day.we did this because well i am still a virgin and only he knows that . and im way totally scared of his d*** its big :( i saw alot. i sucked it a few times . but after we did steps i noticed that when ever he fingered me i didnt really feel anything and not a moan or a scream came out . so i started faking like i was hurting. i also noticed he cant even make me have a o***** but yet i can make myself have one. i do NOT m********* but i looked up how would i know if i had a o***** and from what the other people said an the internet i didnt have anything close to one. i also noticed the only thing hes good at is eating out my p****. so a couple of weeks after i was faking it he asked " are you ready now?" i answered " yes!!!" hoping it would be better then the steps . and turns out it was horrible!.and again i faked the screaming an moanin. the only time i didnt was when he was sticking his big ass d*** in my c*** and eating my c*** out. i lost my virginty for that!?!? is wht i think sometimes but i love him so i guess that was all that matters. ever since then hes been wanting to do it again an again because he thought he really made me scream that loud an made me sore. i feel so terrible that i faked the screaming and moanin but if i told him he was a bad f***** he would be even more p*****! we have had it 7 times after the first. and i am sorry its just hard to tell him hes so sweet he acts so tough sometimes cuz hes a jock but im pretty sure he would cry if he knew. should i tell him ? or keep faking . i feel like im lying to my soul mate D: