I'm f***** up so i'll cya in h***.
When i was younger a caregiver at the after school care i went to liked to kiss me and touch my privates. I don't think that's why i'm screwed up, that's just what my ex-friends say.
When I was about 12 i started hurting myself. like i cut my leg on purpose. it was just because i hate myself too much. i don't know why it helped it just did. wtf
it got kinda bad when i was 18 cause i confessed to my friends and they kept giving me advice but i got so confused. i didn't agree with any of their advice, so being the idiot i am i did the opposite of what they suggested. I cut deeper, more frequently and started getting drunk enough that i couldn't stand up. So no surprises they all ditched me.
that kinda made me straighten up for a good year or so. I almost never cut myself now. but i haven't stopped hurting myself. I've posted pictures of myself nude online and given 'shows' of myself to strangers jerking off. I met up with a guy i met online for s**. i knew him for like two days. it hurt so bad but i pretended i liked it (i didn't) . I make myself sick, i hate myself so much i don't know why i do this.
of course i can never tell my family. I'm 20. Holy f*** i'm weird. any advice? (seriously)