Sone things just suck
Well you see, theres this girl. Im 15, and im 10000000% in love with her. Shes about 10 months older than me, and extremely beautiful. This all started on january 23, the first day of my 2nd semester of my freshman year. Shes a sophmore, so i didnt know her until then. The weekednt before that, i had some bad news about this other girl i liked. It all didnt work out, so i was feeling kinda whatever. 4th period comes around, and i walk in to my theatre class. I was te first one in the class, and I look around and try an find my name on the desk. I just see her name (before i even knew her at all) and think to myself "gracie, i bet shes pretty. I wasnt disappointed. Her desk was right next to mine, so that was a plus. And there was me and one other guy in the class, which ended up being some good, some bad. We did this activity thing where we interviewed another classmate to find out things about them and introduce them to the class. I was put with her and one other girl i already knew. I was feeling real good, because she was one of the most beautiful girls ive ever seen. I found out she played ukulele and guitar (which i do as well as a bunch of other instruments) and she liked a lot of stuff i do, and she seemed pretty cool. I knew i was in love with her from that first day. Antway, the days went by, and i tried to think up a good plan to get her to go out with me, all while trying to decide whether or not she liked me. I thought she did, it seemed like it, she always would stand next to me and was jokingly pushing my chest and stuff, and was always so nice. She is definatley one of the nicest people ive ever met, which really ended up s******* my whole life up. Around came her birthday, and i was planning to do something special, but i was too chicken. Sometime before this i had found out she had a boyfriend, and i decided to bide my time. Valentines day was like h*** for me. I wanted to do so much for her. Her boyfriend was "sick" and i knew he was a j*** without even really knowing him. So a few days later there were tryouts for a short one act play directed by one of the seniors in theatre 4. I wanted to try out, after all, wouldnt it have been great to get cast as the lead male role and have her play my wife. Tough luck, i couldnt stay after for tryouts, my mom was out of town. We hardly do anything in our theatre class anyway, so the teacher let anyone who wanted audition during class. It was only me , the other dude, and her that wanted to. (btw, theres only like 11-12 people in the class). I thought that jus maybe i might haw a chance at one of the roles, (only 4, like i said, very short play) so i triend out, doing a cold read from all the parts the director wanted. The other guy just wasnt very good, but i knew there would be someone better that was staying after school. So a few days later they announce who got what part. As it turns out, i was cast as the lead male husband role. And wait for it... Yes, she got to play my wife. It was so coincidentally amazing i was actually put into shock. I had had dreams about how amazing something like this could happen. My life was falling right into place! I got to know her a little better, we started texting a bit and stuff. She was still stuck with her j*** boyfriend and i was trying my hardest not to get friendzoned. She would tell me about her issues, and i hinted that she could find "someone better" (aka me). She seemed to like me, so i felt great about all this. In the play there was a lot of romantic hand holding parts and close moments. Well i of course suggested we should "get to know eachother better " to be better actors and play our parts better. She seemed to like this idea. Before practice one day, when her boyfriend was being extra jerky, she came over crying. She talked about how he doesnt treat her right and how guys only try to get the girl, and once they do they stop being romantic and such. I think girls have the worst habit at choosing guys that dont gibe a crap over guys that actually care. A few days later they decided to "go on a break". I thought that maybe it was time to make my move. After one practice she needed a ride home so my sister said she could take her home. After she got out of the car and we turned around to back to our house, my sister got all nosy and stuff. She decided on some crazy ways to get her to like me. Some worked ok, i think, but i had to have done something wrong. One day after a short practice we were hangin out waithing to be picked up. I had my acoustic and uke, because i play guitar in the jazz band at my school. So she convinced me to play her a song, even though im a terrible singer, i agreed. I sang/played im yours be jason mraz on the ukulele, and im pretty sure my voice sounded terrible. But thats beside the point. I actually hadte guts to do that? I mean, wow! On a side note, im in a band, and i write lyrics a lot, even though i cant sing. Ever since the day i met her, every single ong ive written has been about her. It adds up to roughly 20 ish + songs all about her. I wanted to play one of those pretty bad, but i think i made some progress with the jason mraz. It all seemed to be going great. Her and her boyfriend broke up for real, and i was all set. Until i told her how i felt about her. Guys, dont make my mistake. Just go for ut, dont wait until you know everything is going to work just as planned, because it wont. She said that she "didnt know" how she felt about me. She was still confused about her ex. I stayed calm, after all, this HAD to work. I bided my time, being as romantic as possible, getting so close. The time for our play was a few weeks away. We performed what we had the day after we came back from spring break, which wasnt the smartest idea. The theatre teacher want impressed. She said we needed more emotion, and said that we needed to add some kissing. I had also had dreams about this happeneing, and was thinking to myself "im the luckiest guy in the world". Our first kiss was a bit awkward, there was the whole cast watching (not a whole lot, but some) and i still wasnt sure of her feelings for me. After that, we warmed ip to eachother more. She would even mess up a line right after a kiss and ask to do it over. I wasnt conplaining. Everything seemed perfect. We tried agaon in front of the theatre tacher, but our kisses "werent passionate enough". The director of the play was juliet in the play that took place first semester, so she knew how it was to be in the same sort of situation. But she got her fun out of this. Making us make out until we seemed natural with eachother. While the rest of the cast just watched and laughted. Again, everything did seem to be falling into place. That night, i was textin her, an asked again if she liked me. She said no, not even a little. She had no feelings for me. I was devestated. The girl i was in love with disnt like me even the slightest bit. She asked me why i loved her. I spent over 30 minutes typing a giant text to her explaining everything. No response. I cried myself to sleep that night. the next day, I asked her to forgive me, and she just said it was ok, but she was acting different. We performed once again in front of the theatre teacher. Our kisses were now "too passionate". The time came for our play. We did fine. I just felt bad because now it was all over, and i had lost my chance. Fate had thrown me the perfect pitch, but i struck out. The next night i just didnt care. She had sort of been ignoring me in class, not too much, just not talking to me like usual. I sent her another big text saying a bunch of stuff from my heart, and i explained how much i really loved her ( which is no easy task) and how i wish i would just have a chance to be with her and show her how great i would treat her. All she said was "just stop". I felt absolutely terrible. Everything had just cone crumbling down. I had gotten a taste at my dreams, but ten had them ripped away. Now its a bit over a month later and ive tried to be friends eith her still. She hasnt acted the same. Im not sure where i really went wrong. I wish i had another chance, to fix this. But lifes cruel. Now shes got another boyfriend. Whos like 19 and already graduated. She told methat shes not acting the way she used to, that she was a different person. I dont know where to go from here. I guess nowhere, im pretty sure theres nothing i can do. If there were ANYTHING i could do to fix this, i would. Im not all sure why i wrote this, maybe it will help me move on. But maybe i dont want to move on. I mean, this is true love were talking about here, but it only rolls one way. Loves a two way street, but now im walking by myself.