I s**** my life completely

I fell in love with a guy 6 month before. he is my best friend for 2 years. but we cannot be together because we are from different countries and we have completely different culture. i cannot adapt to his family and tradition.

and at the same time, i have a 9-yr bf. i do not love him any more but the bonding between us is really hard to cut.

tomorrow the man i love will leave to another city to start a new life. i cannot go with him. i secretly had s** with him once. and the s** is amazing. i mean, during the past 9-yr i have never experienced such great s** with my bf, ever. i know it sounds pathetic but my life sucks. the s** with this guy is full of love, care, attraction... also because we are best friends for almost 3 years, we know each other so well. the relationship is full of love, understanding and friendship... not only sexual attraction...

he told me he will come back to see me every weekend. but both of us know this is bad for me. he told me he should not s**** my life like this but we just cannot stop seeing each other. the love is so true. and it might be one of the best things happened in my life. i don't understand why such a great thing cannot be accepted... i am so sad...

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