Relationshit.....Love triangle madness

So I dated this guy ben for 2 years. he was my first love and I gave my all and put everything into keeping this guy happy. Like I said he was my first love and I wanted nothing but him. He was amazing. After about 1 year of having normal relationship problems (jealousy, ego, controlling issues, etc.) Ben started being abusive towards me. It started out as him wanting to be cool I guess in front of his friends. But it became much much more. An issue that even he couldn't wrap his heaed around. By the time we had been together for 2 years my head, heart, and everything else had been mentally, verbally, and physically twisted and f***** up. I was done and I had to walk away with at least a little dignity. I broke up with him. He was still my best friend, we lived together. Shared everything, we were each others everything. He wanted to get back together. he was still in love and I just wanted freedom and sanity for once. He got back together with his crazy w**** of an ex girlfriend. It broke my heart into a thousand pieces and I never felt soo shattered in my life. But I got through it day by day, week by week, and month by month. Today Im okay. Ben never wanted me hanging out with his friends much. His girlfriend Morgan before me and Ben were together hooked up with his best friend/brother Jimmy. It was a constant insecurity for Ben.

Anyways that was awhile ago. Me and ben broke up in July 12' and him and Morgan got back together in September 12'. Well this is where the story gets interesting. Me and Jimmy have been good friends since I stopped talking with Ben. Like I said Jimmy and Ben were best friends.brothers. I recently started hanging out with Jimmy more than I normally would. on the first of the year He broke up with his w**** of a gf. Me and jimmy started cuddling, and one thing led to another. We waited 2 weeks for a good moment for us to f*** and we've been f****** ever since I guess. Hes my best friend. I once looked at him as a brother like figure. But hes my Best Friend with some other benefits. And a little bit more than a friend I guess you can say. Now Im stuck in between him and Monicas realtionshit and I really love Jimmy as a friend and more and I dont know what to do because I know deep down I still love Ben but Jimmy is amazing and treats me better when Ive never even been his girlfriend

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