I Don't Know How to Escape H***

Well, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm honestly done with my life and I have been contemplating suicide again. I've attempted it four times in the past year. Only reason I failed is because I was forced to throw up. I'm sure you all are thinking what's so bad about her life, wright? Well honestly I see nothing wrong with it, but I'll just tell you a little about me first. My mother did drugs since she was 13. When I was born,my house was a meth lab; for growing producing and then selling. She finally got caught when I was 5 years old and sentenced to 13 years. Which after I was placed into my fathers custody who had never been in the picture till then. Finding out I had to brothers. My father is a drunk and often beat us. He had several girlfriends in an out that he also used and abused. When I was 7 my brothers got to move away with their mother. Leaving me alone with my father. He got a new girlfriend soon after they left and we lived with her after a month being homeless and living with my grandmother. His girlfriend had two sons and she was nice till I started getting older, developing and then, I was greatest every morning with wake up s***.....at 9 years old. This still continues in my life and the only good thing to happen recently is my mothers release and she can't even keep her life together always between abusive, cheating boyfriends. One of which got her pregnant and beat the baby to death so she had a miscarriage. All through school I've been bullied and at home I'm still considered worthless. I feel like my life has always been downhill like sinking sand that's consuming me. I'm want to give up. The one person who has ever helped me I fear is giving up on me and I feel insane. Can anyone help? Give advise.

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  • A bullet to the brain might help.

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