My stepdad is f****** stupid!

I am never perfect enough anymore. I have to have straight A's all the time. If I have a B+, all I hear is " why do you have a f****** B? Huh? You better get it up to an A!" Blah blah blah, I just want to strangle him, pull his troughs out and shove it up his ass. You see, my dad cheated on my mom with her sister, they had a few kids together and made me take care of them while they were in the bathroom smoking weed, doing other drugs, and drinking. My dad is a criminal and so in my grandpa. My grandpa is abusive and only abuse me out of all his grand kids. My mother is the bet mom in the world. I love her to death. I would die for her. After my mom and my dad divorced, she became a lesbian. One of her girlfriends used to abuse her, I witnessed it a few times. Everytime I think about it, I beat myself up inside thinking " why didn't I do anything, why didn't I protect her? I had the chance and I didn't protect my mom. I'm a stupid failure". So my entire life, I've been protecting my mom and my sister(from my moms first marriage). I'm a girl but I would get Into fights with guys 5 years older than me to protect my sister. She used to get bullied. And so did I but that all stopped when I broke some guys nose, rib, and wrist. Everyone backed off. I did t get suspended or expelled. I didn't get sued for assult. It was self defense. They couldn't touch me. Then my mom me my stepdad. I was always in defense mode in case he hurt her. I was ready to cut his b**** off an shove it down his throat. I was ready for war but I wasn't ready for a new marriage and that's what came next. I was confused but accepted it because it made my mom happy. 2 years later, she's not happy, she's not sure if she even loves him and she compaires him to her ex girlfriend. My favorite. She was the dad I never had. She cooked, se cleaned, she raised me with my mom. Anyway, my mom isn't happy and I'm on defense mode again. Me and my stepdad fight constantly. An it's about stupid s***. My mom suports us like she has all my life but more people to support. He has a son from a previous marriage. We were about to leave him but I don't know what happened. We stayed and I'm p***** as f***. Ill always be in attack/defense mode around him. He grew up with a perfect family, my mom grew up with the complete opposite. He doesn't understand why me and my mom are the way we are. So right now my life=h*** hole. Someone help me.

Mar 9, 2013

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