I'm bi, and very confused right now.
I'm a guy, 18yo, and I'm bisexual. I dated another boy in secrecy for about a year before everyone found out. By that point, he and I had already had s** several times, but some of the other football players caught us doing it in the lockerroom. Naturally, they left my bf alone about it, but they all kept calling me 'f*****' or 'q****' (probably because I'm a bottom). Here's where it gets confusing. This was what really turned me on. Not them knowing that I liked being f***** by guys, but them calling me those awful names. Every time I heard a guy call me a f*****, all I wanted to do was suck him off. Surprisingly, this actually worked once or twice, but right after we had s**, they would go tell everyone about it and call me names again, which just made me want to do it again. Girls have been giving me a little bit of sympathy since then, and I've been in and out of relationships with women since then, but as messed up as it sounds, all I really want is to keep being called a f***** so I can f*** the popular boys. So can someone please tell me that this sounds relatively sane or something? I feel like I'm going crazy.