S** on my mind

I have always been obsessed with s**, I would stay up all night imaging some made up couple having s**, and it would turn me on for the longest. And when I learned about rape, man my messed up imagination took a turn for the worse, in every one of my night imagings the girl would be raped in some way or another. In my mind she could be fat, skinny, black, white, tall, short, it didn't matter as long as some type of penetration was happening. After that lesbian p*** took an all time new spot in my mind S&M lesbian p***, girls hurting each other, or making each other c** from abuse was something new to me and so my nights were evolved with that for a while. (s*** just thinking about it makes me want to start making something up) A*** and double penetration eating out they all gave me a field day. Then I found out about gay p***, damn I knew gay men had s**, but I didn't know the specifics once I found out how erotic and hot it looked I just couldn't stop thinking about it and watching it. And so now I am on a new phase where I imagine the men being raped, and it makes me very h**** just thinking about those things. Am I weird for having these imagings? Because even though I have these thoughts in my head I still find rape to be the most disgusting thing a person can do to another human being, and yet... So yeah can someone tell me if they have ever felt like this before because all of these contradictions I have swimming in my mind is driving me crazy.

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