Really f***** this up

As a single mother ive often made hard choices. Until about 5 months ago I did really well but I fell in love with a meth addict and he has almost completely destroyed my life. Ive done so many rotten things to my kids and friends and family for him. My dad was living with me and I kicked him out with nowhere to go. I have given all my time and attention to him instead of my kids. I smoke pot all the time and my kids know about it. I have lost friends over him. And he's stolen from me and beat me up a few times. I dont understand whats wrong with me. I just fought with my kid and kicked her out of the house over all this bullshit. I failed a bunch of my own classes and missed out on student teaching. My daughter is graduating soon and Im just a huge f****** wastoid of a person. I hate myself and if not for my youngest daughter im quite sure id kill myself, in part because she just told me I suck as a parent.

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  • I hope he eats your face in a Meth rage

  • Shame on you whackbitch!

  • I wanted to hit the like button on this.

  • All women look at men as projects. We (men) are all imperfect to one degree or another, some more than others, but you look at us with all our troubles and flaws and addictions, and because you truly care about us, you think, "I can fix that". Sometimes, you actually CAN "fix that", but addiction is not something you can fix on your own. You have developed a codependency on your boyfriend, which is like being addicted to his addiction, and so you're just as hooked -- in the situation -- as he is. You both need help, and soon, and if you go get help (I'm talking about professionals, here, not social workers), you will likely be able to restore and preserve your family. You seem like a very bright and intelligent woman, and so your odds of success are quite good. But if you wait too late to start bailing the water out of the boat, you're all going to wind up at the bottom of the ocean. All of you: your boyfriend, your children, your father, and you. Don't wait. Go find help tomorrow morning. If not today. I wish you well.

  • I think you're exactly right. I have attached myself to him in an extremely unhealthy way. Being with him made me feel so important to another person, like I was vital for his survival and it gave my life so much purpose. We've been apart for a couple months now and I still miss him. I get this nagging feeling that no one is ever going to love me like that again. And when I use my head and think about it I really hope that's true.

  • What's wrong with you.. good question, and if you dig deep enough you already know the answer. Why are you choosing a man who is clearly not good for you? Because you're afraid to be alone? low self esteem? If you were my mother, I would hate you too. The fact that you're choosing this loser over your own kids and father. If you want to make things right, kick the guy to the curb and make amends with your kids. You say you're just smoking pot, you sure you're not also smoking meth? Get your act together before you have wasted years on this guy and you are truly left with nothing. You want motivation? Look really hard at your kids.

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