I might have f***** everything up.

My sparring partner at martial arts a bit older than me; but he's stunning. Fit, because he's a Sensei; short dark hair, dark eyes, beautiful smile. Gentle, kind, decent guy.

Some of us from the club went out drinking the other night, and somehow he wound up confessing that he knew we'd always had chemistry... "Whatever happens between us I don't want to f*** things up" he said... We danced, we held hands... he cradled my face in his hands and I kissed him, just a peck, on the lips... He got upset when I danced with other men. He wanted to have me alone so we could 'talk about it all' and see where it went... but I sent him home. Gently, but I sent him home. He wanted me to get out of the cab when I let him out, but I didn't. I don't know what might have happened- would he have kissed me goodnight?

It doesn't matter... I sent him back to his wife and kids.

And that's the hardest thing I've ever done.

Jul 7, 2014

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