F*** up life. part 1

I am from a third world country, we were pretty well of over there and now I am living in the u.s and I am 25 year old male living in the u.s now. Sorry about the long post, I should be studying for my finals but I just found out about this website and had to get this off my chest.
My story starts of when I was about five or six, one of my female cousins who lived in the u.s came visited us back in our country, we were the same age and we got along with each other. I remember one day we were both alone in a room on a bed, she got next to me and we were hugging, she said to me"lets do what mom and dad does." She asked me to take of my clothes and she took off mine, she got on top of me and started kissing me and put my hand on her chest, I didn't know what was right from wrong. We stopped when someone was knocking on the door saying some thing. That happened once; she went back to the u.s and didn't end up seeing her again till last year, even when my family moved here and stayed with her family for two months, she was living in a different state with her aunt. Then when I was about six or seven. We had this male servant/helper, he was about 16 or 17 I think, who lived in our house in that country. He used to be like my care taker. The f***** up part is that I remember we used to "play around," like where I used to touch his p**** and he used to touch mine and our penises would touch and we used to "kiss" each other's p****, naked under a blanket on my bed. I was young and never had the feeling that it was wrong or anything. I remember this happening a couple of times, one time in particular when I remember him c******.

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