Submissive and the whole s** thing
I am submissive. There I have said it.
For years I have felt an obligation to s**. Two obligations actually. The first was to give my husband s** and the second was to o***** with him. Problem was I rarely reached o*****. This mindset ate away at both of us.
He would touch and kiss and stroke and try to turn me on but it did not work. It did not excite me. He would get frustrated or angry and I would end up faking it.
He said he felt I was not willing to respond to him or at other times that he was less of a man because I was not able to get turned on by him.
What did excite me was him enjoying me for s**. Sometimes I would say to him things like "Just use me for s**". Like I knew he loved me. For me there was a comfort in giving myself to him. I would encourage him that it was OK for him to have s** and o***** and me not o*****. I would say things like "Enjoy yourself" or "This is my present to you".
Anyway eventually I said to him that I get real comfort out of him having s** with me. No foreplay. No effort on his behalf. When and wherever he wanted it. I also said I fantasised about him tying me up and just having s** with me. Now he was hesitant. He has accepted that I don't o***** and that's OK. I don't think he really understands in a relating kind of way but he is enjoying being a bit rough and demanding. Every now and then he sort of back peddles a bit and sometimes he gets a bit rough or goes a little to far but actually I enjoy deep down that he has had fun.
Pretty weird hey.
I do get to o***** but it is only when I am really relaxed like on holidays and usually just using my fingers on myself.