My girlfriend is having s** with someone else
I've been with my girlfriend for almost four years now, and we decided to stay together while in college.
We started out exclusive, but I eventually convinced her to try an open relationship since I felt like I was missing out at school and I didn't really mind the thought of her with other guys, I even sometimes liked the idea. On the other hand, she hated the thought of me with other girls.
So we tried it, but things got bad when I had s** with someone else. She felt like I'd betrayed her, and after a lot of talk we decided she should have s** with someone too. I was super anxious, because nothing happened for a while, like six months. Things were okay, and then we kind of went back to normal, and then she started talking about this guy.
She seemed to really like him, thought he was super hot etc., was a varsity athlete and a year older than us. We are super honest with each other so she tells me all this. I told her to go for it, and to be perfectly honest I was excited for her. I was definitely really jealous, but i wanted things to be even between us again, and i didn't think it would hurt.
Now she can't stop having s** with him. They've been having s** every day for a month now.
So I'm Asian (she's white), 5'9", and despite my other qualities I don't have the biggest package. I'm just under 4 inches, and I have never made her c** before. He makes her c** multiple times every time they do it and has a way bigger d*** than me.
I don't blame her for wanting it, and I didn't even freak out at her for it (not that much). After a little while I accepted it and I'll admit it turns me on that she gets so much pleasure out of it. I love seeing her happy and I'm glad he does that for her.
Then last weekend happened. I spent $200 to go visit her for five days, and while I was there I'm pretty sure she still had s** with him every day. She would leave me for long periods of time, and I caught her sneaking back into the room one night looking like she'd just come back from an orgy.
One night, we fell asleep in bed together after having s**, but I woke up and she wasn't there. Not long after, i hear her moaning and screaming in the common room outside, and I laid in bed from 2:30-5 listening to them have ridiculous s** right outside the room I was in. The worst part is, after they were done, she came back in the room to grab a towel, and she was totally naked. I pretended to be asleep, but i saw there was c** all over her back and ass, and it just hit me that I'm just the biggest loser for letting this happen. Its really humiliating, because there are 2 other girls that room with my girlfriend, and i know they both know what is going on.
We're both 20 now, and I still love her more than anything, but things have gotten out of hand and I'm starting to worry. I know our relationship isn't normal, but it kills me because i'm not even sure i want to stop it. I'm really worried about friends/family finding out but i secretly get turned on when she's having s** with him. I don't want to lose her, and I don't know what to do