When wrong seems right
My name is Emily, I'm 19 Australian and work for the past year in aged care pretty much.
We have lots of patients who come through who for me I really appreciate them, showing them as much respect as possible. Trying to always be compassionate, caring and kind. I try to give them understanding and time.
While not being a nurse as such yet I still try and empathise with my patients who sometimes struggle with the multi nationality nurses we have..
Anyways our patients can be anywhere from 60 through to 100's. One that I've been seeing for the past three months is an elderly gentlemen 97 years who has recently been moved to a bigger room and effectively from his treatment is being transitioned to pallitive care..
He's a very sweet and sad man, misunderstood by the staff we have who just see him as complaining. But getting to know him I find really do care (which is hard because yes, I do tend to care all the time)
I see him get gradually weaker though he still is functioning. He still talks to me and we make jokes and I take care of him as much as I can.
I know that he doesnt have much family, particularly close and he has been widowed for the past 30 years. I let him refer to me as his girlfriend and I give him a kiss on the lips if it's just he and I alone, which quite often it is..
I see him smile and I totally see his heart and whole body warm when I'm with him. It's part of my job to give him pressure care and rub cream on his back and one his legs, I do give him a deliberate rub of his p**** which he knows very well what I'm doing and his body responds aswell..
I keep checking to see his notes and I worry that we may lose him sooner than later.
The one thing I would like to offer him is me before he goes..
I don't have a boyfriend so it wouldn't be cheating, I do really care about him so much and would love giving him all of me. I try to let him see as much as possible, I on purpose spilt his bottle on my blouse and skirt so I could take the top of and dry it. I try to position myself on him as much as I can.. I know he enjoys me.. But I'm just not sure if I would be doing anything wrong?