Did my girlfriend rape me?
First off let me set this up. I'm a 21 year old 6ft 2in athletic senior at UMass, dating an 31 year old 5ft 2in almost a bbw in Boston named Jen. Our s** life is incredible nothing is off limits and she's great at everything. It started off as a one night stand but I couldn't get enough. Now we've been dating for almost a year.
A few weeks ago I told her about a fantasy I had about her using a strap-on on me. First she really hated the idea then she said she would only do it if I bought this 500 dollar contraption from this extreme restraint web site. First I told her it was too much but ended up giving in.
It got here the day before yesterday and we opened it up immediately and put it together. It is very strong made of tubular steel. Basically it would keep whomever on it in the doggie position. It has a cuff and a strap for each arm and leg. The middle comes up like a bench to hold up your torso and has 2 more straps. Lastly it had a metal bar that hooked into this solid metal collar so you couldn't even look back. That's a total of 11 restraints on in. I wanted to do it right away but she wanted to go out for drinks first to relax so we went to a nearby bar.
We came back a few hours later and I was restrained in this device. I couldn't move at all. Then she blind folded me, put earplugs in and wrapped an ace bandage over it so they wouldn't slip off. She said the sensory depravation make in more intense. First she didn't do much but touch me slowly. Then I felt her licking my a****** follow by lube being spread on with her finger. She started slow and than got faster and more powerful. It felt so much bigger inside me, but considering her finger was only thing to penetrate me before in was understandable. It was an intense potpourri of pleasure and pain in places I never felt before. After what seems like hours see freed me and we had great s**.
The problem started yesterday morning when I was getting ready to leave. I was using the guest bathroom and saw a condom wrapper in the waste basket. She said it was her friend Ed's. Ed was her gay friend from college who works in town but lives about an hour away so, when he works late or the traffic is bad he will frequently crash in Jen's guestroom. He's probably 5ft 8in, thin and very feminine. Jen said that Ed called her a work and asked her if he could hook up with some guy he had met after work. She said it was fine as long as he promised to wash the sheets and be out by 8.
This is when I stated freaking out on the inside. Ed does stay there at least twice a week but I never remember him bringing anyone over. Then I was thinking about how much bigger the strap-on felt inside me, how Jen really got into it and how powerful she felt. Now is was thinking back to her being grossed out at first then insisting the that I buy that bench.
In my mind I'm thinking that after she blind folded me she had Ed come in and rape me. Hopefully this is just in my head but, I can't stop thinking about it. How can I tell if he had and what should I do? Any constructive advice would be very appreciated.