i'm bi and my one night i woke up to

i'm bi and my one night i woke up to one of my best friends touching my bare breast. I laid there awake as she touched me...even went down my pants and fingered me. Although it was physically pleasurly i felt disgusted...i don't like her like that. we've been friends for 4 yrs..her family is like my family. I feel so violated...how could she do that to me while i slept?! her twin was even right next to me!!!!!!!!
my best friend used me..and it didn't seem like it was the first time.
It seems like every time i get happy something like this happens and i'm hurt again.
I feel like i did when i was raped...

i still love my friend...but i can never trust her

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  • Stop being the victim. How about you reciprciate and give your friend some pleasure. Who would be a better partner? A stanger? No way. It is OK to love your friend in a sexual way.

  • so, why did you not stop her???? Forget it and let life go on!!!

  • I think you enjoyed it at the time. but after you just felt disgusted.
    and that's where the guilt is coming from.
    trust me I've had this happen before.
    getting molested by good friends that I trusted. (but no I didn't enjoy it)
    thing is I stopped all contact with them.
    sooo either do the same or talk it out with her. don't be embarrased.
    anyways g/l

  • Assuming you were not fabricating part of the story(lots of people do to not feel guily...but they should anyways). Then she rape/molest you, so that may be why it seems like the same... because it is... However, you knew and you could of stopped her. So something seems off.
    Agreed. You didn't say no, so it is your own damn fault.
    Sorry OP but this does sound fishy. I mean it's possible to get aroused and still be raped. Physical response isn't consent. But the fact that you were awake and admited to being awake and enjoying it tells me that you're just not ready to come out completely.


  • To me you did like it but you scare to face to your truth that you like it..Please decide and start to do it awake..

  • You said in the origianal post that you're "bi," and if this girl is your "best friend," I'm sure she knows that. Again, you slept next to her (with her sister!), and didn't so much as moan a protest when she touched you. In fact, you admit that you were enjoying it. That's exactly how other "straight" couples initiate s**, so she didn't do anything wrong. You did something wrong by not putting a stop to it. Now you're doing a double wrong by accusing her publicly of being a pervert.

    Honestly, though, I can't even see what the complaint is about. You sleep with two hot twins and one of them comes on to you and helps you get off? Would that I had your problems!

  • Then muscle up and talk to your friend. Explain you were too shocked to say no, but that you want to be best friends still, but not in that way. Explain that it disturbed you and you don't want any more advances, but that you value your relationship.

    Should patch things up and set the rules between you.

    Enough of the mental drama you are putting yourself through.

  • Why are you trying to make yourself feel better by blaming your friend. She made a pass, you were fully aware of it and did nothing to stop it. She didn't threaten you or force you or intimidate you. Just admit that you liked having a girl touch you and it turned you on. The poster 3 spots above is right. You're the type of stupid chick who does something and then grows a conscience afterwards and cries rape to hide the guilt and shame you feel.

  • Orig poster: thats not how it went. I was freaked out when she started touching me...it was weird..and i was half asleep. Plus i didn't want to wake up her twin next to me. and maybe it is my fault...but i still am very upset about it i don't know why. Crying rape is not what i did at all, if i wanted it i would have said so, i have no problem doing that. But i have to say, i'm just a stupid little kid who didn't know how to react in that type of situation.

    not that have to justify anything to you people

  • ^LOL I agree!

  • I think maybe your friends shouldn't trust you. You're the kind of girl who'll get drunk, mess around, pretend to be 'asleep' or whatnot, and then scream rape the next day. Dangerous. Stay away.

  • Sorry OP but this does sound fishy. I mean it's possible to get aroused and still be raped. Physical response isn't consent. But the fact that you were awake and admited to enjoying it tells me you're just not ready to come out completely.

  • ^Agreed. You didn't say no, so it is your own damn fault.

  • But the fact is, she WAS awake, not asleep. So all the OP had to do was say, "What are you doing?" or "Please stop." or "Thanks, but I'm not interested/don't feel the same way..." . So why didn't she? Because she was into it and enjoying herself (as she admits), but wanted to pretend that she wasn't. It's pretty obvious when someone is awake and responding to your touch, so I don't buy that her friend just thought she was asleep. That's a fantasy--that you can molest someone without waking them up. In this case, it's the fantasy of the person being touched.

  • pleasurly LOL

  • Assuming you were not fabricating part of the story(lots of people do to not feel guilty...but they should anyways). Then she DID rape/molest you, so that may be why it seems like the same... because it is... However, you knew and you could of stopped her. So something seems off.

  • How did she know she was awake? I don't think that your comment is true /\\ /\\ /\\ If it is unwanted attention/contact, then it is sexual harassment. I don't blame you for not trusting her, because if she knew you were bi, it is taking advantage of you. Don't feel disgusted- you didn't do anything wrong and have the right to feel that way.

  • You're in denial and you're taking it out on your friend. She knew you were awake and enjoying it, so she wasn't molesting you. You just want to pretend it was all against your will because you feel guilty at having enjoyed yourself. I'm guessing that you flirted and hinted all night long, then decided to sleep in the same bed with her, and then responded physically when she touched you, so it was pretty obvious to her that you were into it. You could have stopped her at any time and said, "no thank you," but you didn't. So stop trying to slander her now just to clear your conscience.

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