Pedophile . . .
I am a "pedophile". I have never acted on my temptations. but I can't stop fantasizing about young girls. I can't talk to anyone about it. I can't confess to a real person. When I have had the opportunity to act on it, I couldn't help but think what will this do to her in the future? I don't want to hurt anybody and I don't want to cause her emotional problems now or in the future, and I don't want to lose her trust. I hate feeling this way and I hate myself for thinking these thoughts. I am deeply religious and I have prayed and meditated and read every book I can find, but I catch myself thinking about girls I know, even my own family members. Sometimes I wish I could just die, I feel like a complete idiot and worthless piece of trash. I don't know if this post is going to make feel or better or worse, but I'm tired of these thoughts.