Why do I want him to rape me?
I am sick of waiting for love and a f***. mr right now is all that matters, and the old guy i met his not rihgt at all... this is a naught and dangerous obsession. I think its because I am so hungry for affection and love I long to be needed sexually, desired and loved. I want to have s** with him. The people who abused me have taught me anything about life i did not value before incase you a-holes are wondering. I might have had a near death experience but I was already aware of the frailness of life but now I am just more scared of s** and love and yet more determined. I feel sure he hates me. I know he must hate a dog b**** life me. I made a mistake saying things and how can I take them back. i do care about him more then he thinks I do. I am scared i don't want to die. i fear death all the time now. it was not like that before. do these people even know what they have done? why do I want him to rape me? i would have s** with a lot of men right now but not old guys. i dont want old men. i want someone who stimulates me, excites me and makes me feel great about me. and i need a nice caring man. i know i am out of this guys league, i should be wanting to f*** will or hars or those other cute dudes so what is the hang up with this doctor. so what he saw my v*****. i dont do that much i felt something with him as soon as we met but am i imagining it. its just his way with all women. right! i am one of many but i dont want old men or asians unless they are cute and caring, i dont want weird guys from india and afraid i want a white man around my age to get off his bum and rape me. is that so bad to want him to want me so bad. i would f*** the others i would but i need someone now and i cant keep waiting. i am gonna go out and get a f*** soon.