Why do I want him to rape me?

I am sick of waiting for love and a f***. mr right now is all that matters, and the old guy i met his not rihgt at all... this is a naught and dangerous obsession. I think its because I am so hungry for affection and love I long to be needed sexually, desired and loved. I want to have s** with him. The people who abused me have taught me anything about life i did not value before incase you a-holes are wondering. I might have had a near death experience but I was already aware of the frailness of life but now I am just more scared of s** and love and yet more determined. I feel sure he hates me. I know he must hate a dog b**** life me. I made a mistake saying things and how can I take them back. i do care about him more then he thinks I do. I am scared i don't want to die. i fear death all the time now. it was not like that before. do these people even know what they have done? why do I want him to rape me? i would have s** with a lot of men right now but not old guys. i dont want old men. i want someone who stimulates me, excites me and makes me feel great about me. and i need a nice caring man. i know i am out of this guys league, i should be wanting to f*** will or hars or those other cute dudes so what is the hang up with this doctor. so what he saw my v*****. i dont do that much i felt something with him as soon as we met but am i imagining it. its just his way with all women. right! i am one of many but i dont want old men or asians unless they are cute and caring, i dont want weird guys from india and afraid i want a white man around my age to get off his bum and rape me. is that so bad to want him to want me so bad. i would f*** the others i would but i need someone now and i cant keep waiting. i am gonna go out and get a f*** soon.

Jun 11, 2015

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  • Id actually enjoy it because its so mysterious tho..... "they"/ he knows I like it. He took a beautiful pic of me (and decorated my hair with pink flowers too.... (really took his time!!!! I LOVE IT!! ITS MY FAVE. PIC OF ME EVER) on my phone and I found it ON my phone awhile back some years ago when my hair was still long. I believe the obsession goes both ways for ("us") its such a beautiful thing I believe. And let me say- 50 shades of grey.... I wish!!!! I just can't SEE them/ him. at all tho..... ever!!! I love it tho... I never wanted a serious relationship, so, BOOM!!! THERE IT IS!!! Perfect.
    Lil 'ol crazy me, 🙃😉🤫🤭💋

  • Lets try once

  • Be aware that this is not rape. Rough and exciting yes but rape no. Do not mix it up. Rape is a terrible thing.

    Wife and i used to play a game where she would go buy some cheap skimpy clothes from good will. I would abduct her tie her up. Rip or cut off the clothes and f*** her. Rough. Exciting. Thrilling. But not rape.

  • Reading this gave me a headache - you are too needy!

    There is more to life than aggressive s**!

    Go do something - You don't want to become Karla Homolka!

  • Once you are controlling the scene its not rape

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