I lied about my entire life to my boyfriend

My boyfriend and i have Ben going out for two and 1/2 years...he wants to marry me...and i want to marry him very badly...but...i have lied to him about every single detail about me. I don't even know why i did it...i feel like the most awful person in existence...i wish i could die...or at least start over. Tell myself to not lie to him. I am so deeply in love with my boyfriend...and it hurts...knowing he's only in love with the lies I've told and acted. I'm such a coward...i cant even confess to him I've lied...i don't want to lose him....I'm so confused as to why i just couldn't stop piling lie after lie after lie. I truly despise myself....

Jun 20, 2015

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  • Confess to him and ask him to punish you by spanking. Before you dismiss this a kinky crap, think, being spanked is incredibly cathardic and intimate. It is scary but through vunerability comes reconnection.

  • Guys are not that complicated. Looks and love.
    He loves you for who you are not your past whether that be true or false. But the lies will eat you and kill the relationship.

  • You did it because you wanted him to care about you and to think highly of you. Everyone does that, to one degree or another. What you did went too far, but you can reverse course and start afresh . . . by coming clean. Yes, he may leave you, but it's a risk you have to take in order to have a healthy relationship, or a healthy marriage. If he leaves, it won't be because he doesn't love "you": remember, he doesn't really know "you". However, the person he says he loves now IS you, in innumerable ways, in unspoken ways, just not the fictional elements. Again, it's time now for honesty, and it's a necessity. I know it hurts, and it will continue to hurt, but not as badly as continuing to pretend you're partially somebody else. If you consider it acceptable, I would recommend going to a therapist or counsellor and get some professional input on this, now and later, so you can approach it in a way that's both appropriate and effective, and so you can deal with it after the fact, IF there's any problem to deal with. It's possible that your boyfriend won't care about the things you've lied about. If he does understand, he'll mean even more to you. If he doesn't, then you could fairly think of the relationship as "not meant to be". Either way, you need to get this toxic feeling out of your system. I wish you well.

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