I was the s** but not the relationship

When I was 7years old on a family holiday abroad I was molested by a 19year old neighbour. At the time I didn't understand what was going on and I never felt bad about it but never told my parents about it either. It's been 14years since the incident and my family are still in the dark about it. I haven't had s** with anyone since but there are times I get really turned on and I enjoy touching myself and master bating thinking back that incident. I love fingering myself but I've recently realised that I want to have s** but I don't want to get caught up in the nitty gritty of a relationship.

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