I don't know what to do

I'm a man in my forties who has this weird belief that my girlfriend who died nine years ago is waiting for me in a higher plane, and so I've chosen to be faithful to her while down here. My friends and family don't mention my celibacy to me, but I know they wonder about never seeing me with anyone (they sort of know about my deceased girlfriend, but not really...long story). I think they see me as being a bit eccentric, and so they don't push for answers. Or maybe they think I sleep around and that I've chosen not to introduce them to my short-term relationships. I'm humble and down to earth, but the way women look at me tells me that I'm very attractive. The problem I'm having is that women find me so attractive that many of them pretty much throw themselves at me and I hate that they either think I'm an idiot who doesn't know how to read obvious flirting signals, or that I don't find them attractive. It probably sounds like I'm bragging more than anything, but this is a real problem; I see the hurt in their eyes and it kills me. I've explained myself a couple of times to women I see regularly (a cashier and a neighbour), but it would be weird to start explaining to strangers all the time why I'm not responding to their advances. The only solution I see is to wear a wedding ring, but I hate wearing jewelry, and then I would have to explain my weird situation to my family and friends. Advice or any sort of feedback would be very much appreciated, but it's mostly about putting it out there since I don't really want to discuss it with people close to me.

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  • This isn't a real problem

  • It's a problem to me, I hate hurting people's feelings or embarrassing them by not responding to their advances, I guess you're colder than I am.

  • Read your bible dear and find solace in the Lord.

    Avoid Immoral Women
    1My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
    listen carefully to my wise counsel.
    2Then you will show discernment,
    and your lips will express what you’ve learned.
    3For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
    and her mouth is smoother than oil.
    4But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
    as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
    5Her feet go down to death;
    her steps lead straight to the grave.
    6For she cares nothing about the path to life.
    She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.
    7So now, my sons, listen to me.
    Never stray from what I am about to say:
    8Stay away from her!
    Don’t go near the door of her house!
    9If you do, you will lose your honor
    and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.
    10Strangers will consume your wealth,
    and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
    11In the end you will groan in anguish
    when disease consumes your body.
    12You will say, “How I hated discipline!
    If only I had not ignored all the warnings!
    13Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers?
    Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors?
    14I have come to the brink of utter ruin,
    and now I must face public disgrace.”
    15Drink water from your own well—
    share your love only with your wife.
    16Why spill the water of your springs in the streets,
    having s** with just anyone?
    17You should reserve it for yourselves.
    Never share it with strangers.
    18Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you.
    Rejoice in the wife of your youth.
    19She is a loving deer, a graceful doe.
    Let her b****** satisfy you always.
    May you always be captivated by her love.
    20Why be captivated, my son, by an immoral woman,
    or fondle the b****** of a promiscuous woman?
    21For the lord sees clearly what a man does,
    examining every path he takes.
    22An evil man is held captive by his own sins;
    they are ropes that catch and hold him.
    23He will die for lack of self-control;
    he will be lost because of his great foolishness.

  • Thank you for taking the time to read and answer nonetheless, I appreciate!

  • I'm not sad, I know I'll be reunited with my lady one day, and I don't judge people's sexuality. I didn't completely read though, sorry, religion angers me (I'm agnostic), using common sense in the real world is what works for me.

  • You are an adult and you shouldn't have to justify anything about your life. Your friends and family care about you and probably think you would be happy with someone. Maybe your best response would be to shrug it off and say, I'm happy and single. When I'm ready to settle down, you'll be the first to know. And P.S. Lots of people choose not to marry these days. But above all it is you that has to be confident and comfortable with your own reasonings; and not concern yourself with what others may think or not think. Unless you like wearing rings, you shouldn't have to take it that far. As for your girlfriend that had passed, sorry for your loss btw. Could she be on another plane? Sure..the universe works in a lot of different ways. But something to note, you are still here and maybe you should consider that she was put in your path to teach you about love. There are reasons (not always apparent) as to why certain people are put in our life's path. But there is something deeper here, that you may want to talk with someone about. But by you remaining faithful, it seems as though you could be keeping yourself safe from possibly experiencing true intimacy again or even having to suffer through potential heartache. The death of anyone is painful. And by not getting too involved, you protect yourself and your heart. Does that make sense? Would that be what your girlfriend had wanted? And you didn't elaborate as to how long you dated or if she was the love of your life etc..Some day you will see her again. But you have a lot of life still to lead and experience, and love should be one of them.

  • Thanks for taking the time to read and answer. I just got your comment, my family now knows not to question me about my love life. My relationship with my girlfriend occurred a dozen years ago, it was short and intense. I plan on remaining faithful to her because I know that I'll see her again and being faithful will add to our reunion. I'm very happy with my choices, except for hurting and embarrassing women who make advances to me.

  • Live your life according to you. You don't need to validate nothing to ANYONE! As long as you are happy, others should be too. Wait for her

  • Thank you!

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