I was molested at the age of 14 by my brother. It happened while I was sleeping, and since then I can barely sleep. Now ten years later I'm in school to be a pastor but feel like I can't forgive him and can't move past what he did. It still causes sleep issues today. I used to self harm to cope with it, and often think about doing it again. Idk what to do anymore.

Nov 3, 2015

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  • Confront your brother about it. If you do so, my suggestion would be, to be
    diplomatic with your approach when broaching this delicate topic.

    I hope you find closure :)

  • You are only human so its ok to feel angry and hurt but keep in the light because one day you will be in heaven and he will not be allowed entry.

  • Eventually, your sensitivity to issues of abuse will make you a more potent witness and a more effective preacher and counsellor. When does "eventually" arrive? No one can say but you. Pray about it, talk to God about it, speak with a professional (someone you know has a reputation for discretion), and allow time -- and God -- to heal your wounds. Then, go to work among others who have suffered this same pain. Yes, the wounds will heal, but your comprehension of the intricacies of coming out of it will be of tremendous help to others in the future who need the kind of attention and understanding that you need right now. Best wishes to you.

  • Romans 12: 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.

    17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”[d] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

    “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
    if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
    In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”[e]
    21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

  • If you don't forgive him, who suffers? It's you and not him? When you don't forgive, it's like you are holding the other on the ground. Even if you are punching him, remember that you too do not progress; you are static! Free him and free yourself. How will you be able to teach your congregation: "Father forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespassed against us"? don't you see that you are also denying yourself God's forgiveness. Even Jesus was "molested" on the cross; and what did he do: "father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing". Begin to pray for him today and you will see your liberty.

  • I'm sorry this happened to you! You should confront him and let him know how this affects you

  • Contact You need to talk about it with someone who can help you begin to process it.

  • My first xousin got sexually molested by er father and as far as I'm concerned he needs to be in h***. He died without going to jail and I once spit on his grave.

  • When it comes to being sexually molested the only time to forgive the molester is when they get a heaping dose of justice aka incarceration etc. Why should you forgive him? Whats stopping him from molesting another child?

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