S** and love with others
I (28) love my gf (26) and we are getting married in a few months.
In the past, I did cheat on her (a few times) and we worked through it. We even started to get more comfortable with things.. we tried some three ways (MMF and MFF) and explored our sexual wants, always safely and responsibly.
Every once in a while we will do things like give each other a pass to go explore or do something fun without having to feel guilty. We're pretty tame, so it started simple, like once she kissed another guy at a party and once she watched me j*** off to pics of her little sister (19 yo, pervs!).. then one thing led to another and eventually she gave someone a b******, I got one.
Anyway, fast forward a few months, we're still going strong. That stuff on the side actually helps make s** with each other even more special and exciting. Several weeks ago, she confessed she went "all the way" with someone. I was kinda taken aback at the time but it wasn't really surprising given we both talked about doing stuff like that and being ok with it.
Here's the kicker -- her ex boyfriend came over when I wasn't home, and he f***** her in our bed. She didn't try to hide it and didn't want to get away with it.. she was super nice about it and made sure I was in a good mood and understood her intentions. She has often said that he (21) is a "h**** little f***" and that when he was with her he just used her for s** and always wanted to knock her up just for fun. I figured, ok she hates the dude so it's not going to be all that bad.
I mentioned we're always safe and I mean it, condoms and the whole bit. Only here's where it gets worse.. he goes (and yes not just once, it happened a few times after that) in her bare and c*** in her. She says they didn't intend for that but he's young and inexperienced and can't control himself sometimes. She also said that one time he kissed her and told her he loved her while he was c****** in her and that felt really weird to her.
As I heard this and thought about it later, I got angry, super jealous, just wanted to tell her to p*** off and to hurt him.... but hey, I f***** a few girls bare too when I was in a relationship so who am I to judge.. and I'm pretty sure I've kissed and told them I loved them just to get them and me off.
It's also kind of a turn on, like the same way I feel if I fantasize about my friends f****** her (for the record that hasn't happened yet). Only theyre my buds so it's safe... I can't control this dude, and I don't want to.
To top it all off, she's not on the pill... so there's a chance that she'll be pregnant with her ex-boyfriend's baby by the time we get married. I'm not sure how I would feel about raising his kid, but I would stand by her side because I love her.