I am married and I love a big c*** up my ass

I am 27 year old guy and I have been married for almost two years. I am so in love with my wife and I cannot image my life without her. However, I have this dark side of me that I love being f***** and fingered. I have been with guys and transsexuals before and during our marriage and the o****** I had during these sessions were 100 times stronger than what I have with my wife. I am not sure if I am gay or not but I do enjoy having s** with my wife so much so I do not think I am gay
But in the same time I love a*** s**
Also, when I am with her I tend to be very controlling and dominant, but when I am with those guys and girls I tend to be very submissive and even sissy
I am not sure what I should do???