Cheating with my bf's friend

I'm having s** with my boyfriends friend and can't break it off. It started last summer when we me and my bf organized to go on vacation with his friend Max and his girlfriend. She broke up with him a few weeks before and so it ended up being just the three of us. I thought he'd be a spare wheel but it was a lot of fun. One day we hired a boat and sailed out into the ocean for an entire day. We drank a lot of rose and sunbathed on the deck. He talked a lot about his ex. It turned out she was very kinky and he missed the s**. We started sharing stories and the conversation got kind of heated. I teased the boys because I could see they both had semi erections. My bf said that I'm lucky there is no way no female equivalent because I was clearly very h****. I was quite embarrassed and denied it but secretly was. He said that he needed to check and put his hand down my bikini bottoms to see if I was wet. I was so shocked but turned on even more. He turned to his friend and told him that I was soaking wet and carried on playing with my p****. I threw my head back and let him do it, right in front of his friend. He then pulled my bikini top off so I was topless. I've never felt so exposed or achingly h**** in my life. His friend just kept watching. Every now and again I'd look up and him looking at me and it would drive me crazy. My bf stopped abruptly and said "if you want to carry on, we can strip you naked and f*** you out here in the open for hours and nobody will ever know, but if you don't want that I can stop". My heart was pounding. His was too, i could tell. I nodded. She told me I had to say it. I nervously told them to strip me naked and f*** me. That afternoon was incredible. I mean, we did everything imaginable. I had both of their c**** out, in my hands, in my mouth, in my p****. They both emptied their c** inside me. I f***** them both at the same time and seperately. It was easily the best s** of my life. For the rest of the holiday, my bf was cool with me having s** with Max. We did it a lot. But then we got back from vacation and I carried on meeting max but without telling my bf. It's been going on for 6 months now. I can't bring myself to tell him. But I can't stop. It's actually becoming a huge nightmare.

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