F***** up 4th july
My 4th july was pathetic. spent 150 on a firework and concert but i didnt go because my "husband" wanted to get a divorce instead.
he used to be a drug user and have violent issues. i fell in love because he took care of me after my surgery and accidents. and i am all alone in this state. i really care for him and i am hoping he does to me too. but he has issues. abandonment issues, and self esteem issues.
I work for a 100k job and i am the provider, and he never was with something like me. I dont think we are a good fit in a way.
make things worse, he loves two of his friends who constantly gave him malicious opinions, one was a cheater who just got kicked out for the 3rd time by his wife, and the another one does not have a job and a stable place to stay ( yet pregnant )... they cant stand others being in a steady life. i know all this.
but then what? divorce? i hate changes. but i am not happy in a way. i just wanna be left alone most of the time but i guess i am used to it. and he took good care of the house and the dogs. i wish he can gain some self respect soon otherwise i dont know where this is going.