Is this rape?
My boyfriend (14) and I (13) had been dating for about two years when he broke up with my over the phone by telling me he hadn't loved me for months about a week ago. Some other things were said, but that isn't important to the story at the moment. To begin with he wasn't the best boyfriend, he forgot my birthday, spent Valentine's day with his friends, and rarely ever texted or called me. He got angry very often with his parents and would spit and break things. He had problems and I understood that so I was used to his behavior. I thought I loved him, that's why I stayed with him for so long. During our relationship, one time him and I were walking to the river behind my house when we sat down on a log. We started kissing and he put his hands down my pants. He wanted to finger me but I said no. He continued to say "Please, it's fine, it's fine." He kept trying and I sunk to my knees and closed my legs. He put me on his lap and he did it anyways. He broke my hymen and it was horrible. I didn't want it, and I did not enjoy it. This continued and he would always ask to finger me and I was never comfortable with it but he did it anyways. He would always say sorry and say he would never do it again and he always would. One time when he kept begging me if even asked "Is this rape, am I raping you?" I never thought anything of it because we had been together for so long so I thought it was normal. I thought I was the problem. I recently told my friend about this and she says it is rape or at least assault/abuse. Looking back on it, I feel dirty and guilty. Please, is this rape? What should I do?