Husbands first wifes daughter

So me and my husband have been together for 3 years. We have a 2 year old daughter and I have a 8 yr old son from my first marriage. He did not have kids from his first marriage, but he had a step daughter. He's known her since she was 5. She's now 17. Her mom moved her away two years ago to the completely opposite coast! They divorced when she was 12. Her dad has always been involved in her life but because of his job he lives far away. While my husband was married to his first wife he paid for everything for his step daughter. And continued to when they divorced. Bank accounts and everything for her. Since we had our daughter I feel like all that should not be happening. Especially since when she was living close to us she barely spoke to him and only did when he was buying her something. That hasn't changed. He sends her gifts, not just for holidays or birthdays and it bothers me. She NEVER contacts him unless he sends her something or he sends the first text. And even then its a quick thanks, or hi. We got married a couple months ago. She couldn't come to the wedding. He bought her something because he felt bad she didnt come. I was ok with that. What i wasn't ok with was he also sent her a gift card WE got for our wedding. Am I wrong for all this upsetting me? We did discuss this but it always ends in a fight. He thinks of her as HIS daughtet, but I know for a fact she doesn't feel that way about him. It bothers me and we fight alot about all this. Any advice?


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  • "My husband and I" you uneducated c*nt. That's basic grade school grammar. He should dump your a** and find someone with a brain.

  • Agree with the other two comments. This relationship existed before you two were even an item. This is between them. If it bothers your husband of how they communicate now, then he needs to be the one to speak up and make changes. Just because you are married to him now, does not mean that relationships he had before cease to exist simply because you say so. Think of your son, if the situation was similar but in reverse - would you end it? I would hope not. The gift certificate that your husband sent is it really that big of a deal? How much was it? Is it the amount or is it because she sounds ungrateful? What his daughter really needs is time with her dad. You have to step away from the situation and look at it from a different point of view. This girl needs a father in her life who spends time with her. Not a bunch of cards..Maybe he really needs to up how much he is in contact with her. Maybe she resents him. Her parents divorced during a really important time in her development. Right now, it sounds like she has 2 dads that have in someway abandoned her.. even if he sends a card. How much energy has he truly devoted to her? Does he make an effort to visit her? Even if he isn't her birth father, he's taken on the father role. Figure out a way to support him.

  • Its none of ur business

  • How s*****. I feel your frustration. Unfortunately I don't think there is anything you can do. This is his situation. If he wants to keep sending her things and keep getting nothing in return that's his problem. You did know that when you married him. You said talking to him causes an argument so I can't suggest you try that. Just try not to let it bother you. I know easier said than done.

  • She may not be perfect but she's still his child. Get over it.

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